On the Same Path

As I read through some of the blogs, I quit often stumble on one that really rings true to my interests, and Tom Allen again points to one I did not know about that really caught my interest. Titled 'Devotional Sex' , this site, free BTW, grasps the concept of women that are in total control of their intimacy, using a new vocabulary that I think the most vanilla couple could even get used to.  I don't think you would want to miss the concepts introduced here, and while relatively new, there is not alot of comment on the forum portion of the site yet.

I Love Happy Women! And this path may help...

There seems to be alot of similar parallels here to chastity play, and at the same time, some distinctions that some couples will embrace that are just on the edge of vanilla (read 'boring') sex...

So... your thoughts and reactions?

Orgasm is Not the Goal

I'm not even sure how I stumbled upon this link 'Healing with Sexual Relations'  and really havent' taken enough time to explore it other than to breeze through a few passages from the book mentioned there:

Cupid's Poisoned Arrow: From Habit to Harmony in Sexual Relationships, by Marnia Robinson

Strangely enough, she has done a wealth of research only to find that orgasm should not be the goal.  Imagine that.  Sound familiar gents?  Anyway... yet another book to add to the foray of information that promises to enrich our relationships.

 Another blog with a wealth of information regarding the male orgasm... 

I've got to run but had to share a quick couple items in the Thursday race for the weekend. Cheers.

What IF Women Really Knew

I write here in my blog quite often of just ‘stuff’ that creeps into my head, and finally take a few minutes to actually share them here.  Well… this morning is no different.  I know I go weeks and months without posting, and for that I do apologize because as much as anything, this is nearly just a journal then really reaching out to the world.  Another thought occurred to me today, not much different then my usual, inspired by this image I had saved some time ago.

What if, and maybe I’ve said this in several different ways already, women had the opportunity to learn about chastity play much more readily than they do now, or at the least, an awareness of the subject.  If they understood that an amorous seduction was only for their pleasure, with the possible addition of his orgasm only on their whim, how would that change the whole bedroom scenario?  I'm a believer that she should never promise a particular date when she might let me orgasm.  It should always be when she wishes or plans, without my knowledge, just keep up the teasing as if it could happen today. Or not.

Would she be much more willing to ‘let me seduce her’, or actually initiate a loving session on her own?  I often think that as much as we pretend to know or understand our sexual selves, we just really don’t.  And the subject is still avoided from generation to generation.  If women knew to probe into the minds of their boyfriends before marriage regarding sexual ‘turn-ons’, would they dump him or at least educate him? 

I hate to admit this, but I knew nothing about truly pleasuring my women until middle age, and even then was a bit clumsy.  If Only… If only we could communicate more readily on the subject, our whole world would take on a new perspective.

To all those ladies that had a sexual experience with me in my youth, my sincere apologies.  If only I knew from the beginning that while learning my manners, the ‘Ladies First’ rule really meant they come first (or at least learn of their particular turn-on that pleasures them most).

If they only knew that teasing and denying me while pleasuring them often was at their fingertips (no pun intended) it would have left much more indelible memories embedded in our past.  If only they knew that their pleasure was really more important then mine… And if they only knew that allowing me to orgasm just pushes my mind to quickly begin thinking of other subjects, they would make that occasion much more rare and meaningful.  As Sarah mentions often, ‘men want release, but really crave denial’.  That’s so true.

If only my lady knew that the insecure jealousy factor of typical male possessiveness could be replaced with a much more expression of freedom for her, would she take that occasional freedom and exercise it with a lover, as long as she understood she must share her (hopefully) delightful experience with me? 

If only she knew that her pleasure, even at the hand (or cock) of a lover was more important than mine, would she embrace that gift?  If she knew that she had the freedom to experience an occasional lover’s sexual pleasure, would she at least take that gift and tease me with it, even if she didn’t use it?  Yes Please!!

That would definitely excite me.  She could be moaning Keanu Reeves’ name as long as she was in the height of pleasure; I would be happy even while locked in my cage, whether I was pleasuring her or she was sliding down upon his cock for the third time tonight.  Can I learn to pleasure her with my cock without orgasm, and be returned to the cage, staying on edge until your desire returns?  It is possible. Would I have the strength or discipline to do that?  Yes, with her insistence, realizing what it will mean to us.

I do love happy women. She may never really ‘get this’ nor may I ever really articulate my quirks to her fully… just so she uses this knowledge to her benefit … and ours.

She May Not Be Happy You Waited...

If you've gone through the process, time has passed, and suddenly she wakes one night and turns to you and says... "YOU OWE ME!"

"What?" you groggily respond.

It occurs to her, that if you had the courage to mention your dreams, fantasies, and thoughts that you would have been teased and denied for a decade earlier, and she would have been enjoying a delicious decade of abundant loving and pleasure.

Maybe you should think about this now, instead of waiting 'till the time is right'.  Wouldn't you much rather come clean and be able to discuss anything and everything with your partner?

Remember, this is for her pleasure too; this is not all about you.  And the benefits go well beyond your occasional fantasy..  As I saw this image today, it occurred to me that it applies to chastity play as well.  By entering the world of chastity play with her, you lose that precious access to your ability to pleasure yourself whenever you wish.  But in the long run, you gain much much more by surrendering that key to her. If you read the post last week about the BIG question Why, you should have some insight why the denial is important to you.  And as she realizes all the benefits to her, and why the teasing that she does each day comes back to her as priceless gifts of time and pleasure from you, well...

Now follow this up with the other saying that also struck me today...

And add to the end of this one 'For You and Especially for Her'. Game On... now, go play.


Have a great week.  Caged.

Talk Talk Talk.?

Funny reading through the blogs and knowing for two people in an intimate relationship, we still fear opening up and trusting our partner won't go ballistic when we share a fantasy. 

I was reminded today that everyday that we let pass without sharing our deepest intimate thoughts is another day of regret later in life.


How many times have we read or heard from someone that 'I wish I had the courage years ago to tell her (or him) what burns in my mind...'

So when is a good time...?

The BIG Question of WHY Would He Want and Desire Chastity?

I can't tell you how often this subject comes up across the blogs and within myself as well, but I was recently reminded of a very well written explanation at Kelmag's blog that may be worth your time if this also haunts you periodically.  While this is a fairly long post, read through it... a number of very interesting points are included that will interest you, and especially women who are aghast at the thought of keeping her man chaste.  She may be looking to order a cage quickly...

What needs a bit of emphasis is the teasing part of the equation... and pleasing her any time and place she desires.

I was reminded of Kelmag's post while reading Lady Grey's blog (no association BTW, I haven't been lucky enough to meet her).  A number of different responses surface in the comments as to the 'why' question, and since a number of us vary across the spectrum regarding the interest in pure equal partnership to a full wife led dominance.  You can understand from the comments in both blogs why chastity play works across the board for those inspired with the courage to bring up the subject.

I have a full boatload of tasks to accomplish and shouldn't be posting this morning, but this is always a question I hear across the blogs.  And I needed to let everyone know I'm still alive and rolling the dice...

Tom Allen's Interview

Most everyone that stumbles upon the idea of male chastity eventually runs into Tom Allen's blog; one of the most realistic writers who brought vanilla male chastity into the real world.  When I first found Tom's blog, I thought finally, some realistic thoughts, experiences, and advice that wouldn't scare away the ladies (and some of the men too).  Finally, a researcher is delving into aspects of male chastity and providing a better understanding of this playful opportunity to spring some life back into relationships.  So... pop over to Tom's blog and check it out here.

I see the blogs as a little quiet right now, despite the warmer summer days... but hey, with all the flooding and fires burning, and a myriad of other events around the globe, it is a bit harder to squeeze in a bit of intimacy with your partner.  Don't take her for granted; take her hand instead and steal a few moments for yourselves. And take it up a notch with some chastity play.

Interest in Male Chastity, Hotwives, or Both..?

I often just write when something strikes me, and more often than not, nearly use these pages as more of just a journal, or comment of findings from another blog, or realizing something about myself that I didn't know.

Checking His Cage First

So when I decided to look at my blog stats, I was quite surprised to see that 4000 people had viewed my blog last month.  4000 hits is peanuts to some of the blogs I read, but still... yikes.

This goes to show that even with my random posts, that there really is a significant interest in vanilla male chastity play, and I suspect the rather vanilla hotwife fantasies that often come with it, and perhaps my real world experiences into that world.

Well... I don't have time to collect stats of degrees of vanilla, but I would love to know where they are as we educate ourselves on these topics.  I did stumble on a post by a husband & wife that I'll bet would match many that read here.  At least it does for me...

Oh look... It is almost June; time for a new magazine issue to pick up at the news stand.  Have fun out there, and don't stop talking to your partner!

Interesting

My last post was, as someone pointed out, not really me and not anywhere close to my personal take on how a partnership works.  My preference is surrender of the chastity key versus a submissive role.

So, in retrospect, my last post is gone...

Hope everyone had a great weekend!

Fantasy or Real Experience...

 

  The comments in this photo say it all.  As if he had shared his fantasy with her for years, perhaps adding to their bedroom passion, until an opportunity arose that she had to have.  Why this emotion simmers for years within some of the male population is hard to explain.  Why we chose to remain completely monogamous while encouraging her complete freedom is just as mysterious.  I'm sure I've said as much in past posts.  Had this fantasy not come to life for me years ago, I may have never believed it.  Anyone that has read back in my blog knows I was seduced into participating suddenly one night when a friend called asking for a hand with a problem.  My initial thoughts were electrical or household plumbing, or the air conditioner quit. It wasn't my hand they wanted. Anyway, as the years passed and I found this rather common fantasy on the internet and that it existed inside me as well.  I'm sure it has something to do with my enjoying the pleasure she seems to be having.

Looking back, I wish I had kept up with the couple as we didn't keep in touch and lost contact.  Knowing what I know now, I would have asked a few questions of each of them. As my memory strains to know who wanted what, I'm guessing she accepted his fantasy quite easily. Perhaps it was hers all along.

The second couple that invited me into this play was easier to accept. I've never written about it.  It was a bit of a different situation, as the husband was often out town on business.  Kate was another women that knew what she wanted, which made their desire easier.  It began when I was invited to a 'playful' evening, along with a female friend, to play poker one evening. As it turned out, we all 'lost our chips' and the husband and the other guest went upstairs, leaving Kate and I alone naked on the living room floor.  I don't think there was any doubt on the direction this all went, as Kate realized I was a 'normal' penis sized guy, while her husband was actually too large for her comfort. Wow... don't read about that often.

So when hubby was out of town, they would flirt for awhile on the phone, and I would get a rather urgent 'can you come down here now?'.  Not one to turn down opportunities at the time, I would rush down and found that foreplay had already been in high gear.  She didn't want foreplay, she didn't want my tongue, she just wanted my stiff self now, in her, NOW.   And minutes later, she would roll over and with a sweet kiss, whisper 'please lock the door on your way out'.  This went on for a period until his company transferred them to the southwest.  

Not very satisfying for me, but I was just a tool to her pleasure.  Sure she wanted everything I had to offer, and not having an orgasm was not an option.  She wanted to be left fully filled and wet.

Ok, fine... what are friends for?  We still had great barbeques on the patio and plenty of laughs until the transfer.

Still the first couple was more intriguing as I remember towards the end, she enjoyed her orgasm and then asked me not to cum.  My first exposure to serious tease and denial?  Ok, yes as Sarah mentions, the fantasy is great, but the actual reality of a hotwife or cuckold experience is not for everyone.

Years later after these experiences, I had that strange urge to give up control of my orgasms to my then partner.  At that time, my partner didn't realize what she was dealing with or how to handle it.  Nor did I.  I wonder now, years later, if she has figured that out with her husband.

If only I had stumbled on a blog like this one years ago.  A vanilla beginning that just keeps getting better every time this husband and wife post.  If you are new to male chastity play, be sure to read Sue Ellen's account then Bob's.  Wish this was available 20 years ago.

We are such complicated folks aren't we?

 Enjoy friends, never say never, and be open minded.

Rule of Three

Our game, our rules, our fun... but it all starts with that element that we all talk about.  Well, two actually... communication and trust. And then find your own limits or boundaries or ... not.  The bottom line is just do it and enjoy your connection. Because after today... is one day less fun you could have been thrilled with.

Does Rule of Three really mean anything? No... She has the key and we mutually agree it is up to her. The Three merely reminds her she controls the bedroom fun. We just don't engage in this full time (well, at least not yet).  Just whenever the whim strikes her... and she has that ornery tease and denial streak that red heads seem to have.

For the Mainstream News Stands?

Imagine a soft approach for the newbies, and some of our mainstream experienced women readers...

Perhaps we could entice Sarah Jameson to be editor, and add features such as on this intro cover, and softer themes of 'Should I Allow an Orgasm This Month?'  Or 'Our Intimacy Leap' , 'Your Communication Epiphany',  'Teasing Him with a Cuckold Fantasy', or 'More Security: To Pierce or Not?'

This could be useful for the new interest in chastity play, and allow them to not freak with some of the more colorful paths that some people venture into as you see too often.

Women seeing the cover of Cosmo last year with the 'Own His Orgasm' title may have started thinking by now that there is more to this thought than was introduced in the magazine. And they should...

Your thoughts?

House MD

While watching a little TV the other night, I stumbled onto an episode of House MD where a woman patient is explaining to one of the residents how her open marriage came to be with her husband.  (Somehow in the investigation of her illness the fact of their sexual issues became a subject.)

As one of the interns was curious about this relationship, the woman explained how she enjoyed the extra marital sex and this 10% of her time allowed her to give back to her husband the 90% that he gave her.  Fascinating discussion, and I'm not doing it justice.  Anyway, in another conversation, the interns discover that although the husband had the freedom to roam, he choose not as all he really wanted was his wife, and her happiness mattered more to him then her monogamous devotion. They were both happy with their lives.

Interesting topic for the program, and I guess I don't watch enough TV and shouldn't be surprised for this on House MD.  There was more, but some of the discussion of course centered on the differences in the way men and women are wired.  Having already been involved in this activity years ago as I already posted, it was easy to understand.  Seeing it come to light here did get my attention. Keeping it as a fantasy in the bedroom is still a huge turn on, and as a possibility for reality is hot as well.  Never say Never. As long as the 6 rules are used over there on the right side.

Oh, and the bee sting poisoning was discovered and all ended well.  Except one intern that thought he should try this lifestyle... that was another episode.

Oh Where to Hide the Key

Just our little secret... we won't tell him that the key to his cage is tucked safely in your tummy...



And that you are staying home for our trip away next week...


Shhhh... It's just our little secret, ok?

So many little bits of fun that come with chastity play, that she will have fun with when they get past the initial "You Want to do What?"

Open up and live & love...

Another Year Already?

If you've read this blog all along, you know I think everyday should be Valentine's Day...

Hope it is another sweet day for you too. I also hope you have a few sweet messages with your sweets...

And may you ladies wear your keys proudly.

Thank You for the Click

Seems all of the people that find these chastity play pages have a common item that we all love.  The sound of that 'click' as the lock closes, and we males have granted our lover the power of surrender over us.

After the click, we all have a variety of paths that make our day.  Different is fine, as long as our lover is on the same path, which is where some of us need a 'course correction'.  Probably the hardest part of that 'taking the same path' is just simply the communication as the journey begins.  Part of it is simply the realization for her that it is okay to lock him up, to tease him, to deny him, to take the play, the teasing from him, the orgasm he wants her to totally enjoy with all his blessings, while he does not.  Not this time.  Maybe not next time, or the time after that.  Yes his desire builds, yes he enjoys the tease, even if it drives him up the wall.  Don't feel guilty... just say Thank You lover.  And continue to tease, and when the desire strikes you, take him.

After all... he granted you that freedom, that power, that pleasure in knowing your pleasure is his pleasure. Take it.  Embrace it, and don't look back to the days before the two of you discovered chastity play. And enjoy that moment when you know he has again been brought to the very edge, ... only this time he explodes in a moment you choose to feel his release...

For many that write here, joy comes in locking him right back up again.  For some of us, a break until the mood strikes her again, as I wrote in the 'Rule of Three' is really keeping the fire going.  It seems lately, I find more women want the lockup to continue.  Okay... I can live with that. Enjoy.

The Future?

What a wedding gift... I only hope he can appreciate it now like they will in the future.

Love this photo...

Control & Tease

The thought of control without teasing just turns me numb... I know her having control is just enough to blow my socks off, but adding a bit of daily teasing to orgasm control just doubles the fun with this game.


While browsing during the holidays, I stumbled on a video where the wife had managed to tie up her husband, and of course with his cooperation, edged him over and over with her tongue.  They were so adapt at this game that with his hints of coming too close, she would let go just in time... kissing the head of his penis but not stimulating him to orgasm.  Their ability to do this went on for easy 20 minutes before she decided to not let him orgasm and grabbed a bag of frozen vegies to cool him down and return him to his cage.  She did of course console him while locking him up, saying maybe next time, without saying when that might be.  I was waiting for her to spoil an orgasm, but not this time.  Absolutely mind blowing... and 'click'.  Locked and Loved.

While that sounds absolutely torturous, it was obvious they loved this game, and while he obviously desperately wanted to orgasm, she knew he still craved the denial.  She just passionately kissed the head of his cock and continued.  We are such a mystery to our partners and ourselves even.  In my mind, he would turn around and pleasure her to multiple orgasms to her hearts content.

Ahhh...  hope you can find time in today's schedule for some play of your own.  Practice Practice Practice.

Update: this isn't the one I remember, but close...  enjoy.  Or from the same couple.. whew!