Happy New Year

Merry Christmas and the best for a new decade... maybe I'll even find time to post next year?

The way things are going... that may happen in 2011.

The Rest of the Story...

Sometime later... double click

In the meantime, take your imagination and dream.

Most Important

After reading an insightful post over at Watching Your Wife, I'm reminded that very high of the list of important things is the love you share with your wife or significant other. Although this is not always mentioned in some of my posts, none of this blog is relevant without it.

Love her... and communicate with her, and love her even more. Yes, I know people write volumes on the subject, as I probably could too. Understanding where each of us sits on the spectrum of life, relationships, kink and pleasure is all so much an individual book in itself. Share it with your spouse first... and then of course with the rest of us so that we may learn.

Hope it is a great week... snowing of course here in the Rockies, but beautiful. I can't believe we are already into December.

Dream Shopper

My wish for the season...

Several of the blogs I have visited have mentioned one theme in opening up a new world with the writer's lover. Sharing an erotic dream seems like such an innocent way to share a deeper desire, then sharing thoughts and reactions to these deeply intimate fantasies.

Revisiting some of those comments in days that follow sometimes plant a seed that can be shared together... even better, if the couple can find a softer side of the internet for beginners, without all the extreme side of some of blogs.

I think that is why I often look for the writings by women, as we know their perspective can be much different than we may have imagined. As I have mentioned numerous times, I seek her pleasure first over my own, and love the tease & denial aspect of chastity play. I'm looking for the day when women share playful ways to tease their lover, and receive a level of pleasure in that foreplay to their own pleasure, and even more when they embrace that control of denied pleasure to him, and the eventual pleasure of granting his orgasm as the mood strikes her.

In my own fantasy world, as I have also mentioned before, I would love her to know that my monogamous devotion to her also allows her to embrace a freedom of pleasure seeking that frees her from the typical cultural boundaries, receiving pleasure as she wishes from other men. My only caveat to this relationship freedom is my desire to know of these moments and share her memories of that pleasure as I pleasure her again... with or without my own orgasm, as she wishes.

In my life, I can imagine her always wanting me lovingly caged before that tryst with a lover occurred, or even just as part of the teasing foreplay to our own lustful coupling. I can also imagine her rarely taking a romp with a lover, but knowing she has that freedom, and knowing her control over my orgasm, and the endless possibilities of teasing foreplay that I know she is capable of will bring a smile to her lips and hopefully will elevate her blissful pleasure to new highs. I think I have mentioned all this in previous fantasies.

So how does she really know of the impact of sharing dreams with me? As most men already know, it is hard to conceal our true feelings when we are naked... what she sees on my face may not always reflect what she sees from the reaction of my cock. Unfortunately, knowing the reaction in her mind is usually much harder to determine... (ok, stop with the laughing already).

I'm rambling again, so will sign off for the moment. Hope everyone is thinking about holiday possibilities...

Anonymous Comment

The revelation at ' Crazy World' was the comment that 'Chastity Devices for men are the 2nd most popular sex toys sold..' Wish we could be a bit more forthright with that kind of information.

I also couldn't ignore this comment at Rachel's page (click on title above):

Anonymous said...

"My wife wasn't sure about the chastity idea till one day she noticed a friend of ours "AT CHURCH OF ALL PLACES" wearing a key on her bracelet that had a little mountain on it. Funny thing is, that key matches the locks sold with the older Miller products (cb2000 and so on) I have never seen another key with that symbol. Long story short, I left one of my keys out on purpose one night when they came over and they noticed it also. within two weeks from that, he and I had pretty much came out to each other.

So, I agree, it is more common than you might think and who knows who might have one on beside you .... at church... lol"

Hope everyone is having a playful day... and share those key stories.

A Crazy World

Always nice to hear from new couples on the subject of Chastity Play... especially since the main writer is a woman... whom we don't hear from enough on this subject. I think part is just getting by that 'why would I want to play in this sandbox?' and 'whats in this for me?' ...

It's nice to hear from Rachel at the 'A Crazy World' as she & husband delve into this world. As always, Tom Allen brings a great perspective as mentioned before. I can't help but think the leap in communication and intimacy will help most couples go well beyond the usual typical relationship. I hope we hear more from these people!

As usual, pressed for time... hope everyone is having a lovingly tremendous weekend.

Main Stream Chastity?

I've stumbled on a few posts and blogs that seem to be making concept a bit more well known... This first one, originally from a woman that was asking about a boyfriend's fantasy is interesting. She of course had no idea what 'male chastity' was, or even why she would indulge this fantasy with her boyfriend. It appears, six weeks later, that she is having the time of her life, and can't imagine going back.

I am particularly interested in Tom Allen's discovery of the thread and his post comments... "A few years ago I started writing a blog, where I write a little about our twist on this kink. We don't have a D/s relationship, and we try to use this simply to add some spice to our sexual relationship. We often, however, play for long periods of time, which keeps things interesting for us.

I agree that many of the forums and blogs which center on male chastity tend to take a more extreme perspective; I think that this tends to scare some people off, especially women who are just trying to get a handle on this -- after all, it's generally an idea that is brought up by the husband or BF"

and also:

First of all, I want to make it clear that neither Mrs. Edge nor I engage in this as a way to get more household chores done. I did not approach her and request denial so that I might be more attentive, and she did not agree because she thought she would have free maid service. While I understand that some people engage in those dynamics, I want to make it clear that hanging $200 worth of plastic from your tonker will not make you a better husband, nor will it change your relationship.

Mrs. Edge will be the first one (well, the second one, really) to say that I already do chores, cook meals, go shopping, etc. My denial is not a form of punishment, nor is my release a reward for good behavior. We engage in this simply because we enjoy the dynamics. Mrs. Edge enjoys having the control over me, all the more because she sees how excited it makes me. Seeing her excitement makes me more motivated to remain chaste. The double feedback has worked well for us, and each time we try it, we find new things about this.

Recently, she has become more adamant about being completely in charge of the entire situation, so we're discussing how to make that work for us. I'm hoping to write a bit about that at my blog, but I'm a little bit behind on my writing time lately. "

"Now, I will say that when two or more people get into an arrangement that challenges their ideas of emotional intimacy, then this could be a vary good thing, indeed. I still maintain that it's not the plastic (or steel) that does the actual changing; it's their willingness to give over to the new dynamic. But it entirely depends upon the people involved, and on what they bring to -- and hope to get out of -- the change in the dynamic.

And personally, I find it a little arousing when Mrs. Edge exerts a little bit of that control outside the bedroom. I mean, I'm already an attentive husband, but sometimes it's nice when she grabs me for a pash and asks me to go make her some coffee. It's not the promise of a release that does it for me, but the acknowledgment that she finds our situation -- and by extension, me -- exciting. "

Tom Allen
The Edge of Vanilla


Thanks Tom... still on the same wavelength of chastity as play... exactly where I wish I were today.

Seeking first to understand...

Any attempt to divulge a fantasy always seems like a moment of enormous courage... but in our realm of playfulness, it even seems more so. So... I read into some of the posts of initial HW paths that either the man or wife shared. Wow... powerful and exciting... and sometimes very thoughtful responses. So nice to share our experiences and realize what makes us tick and how couples find their way into taking the relationship to another level.

Thanks for sharing...!

Ultimate Love & Trust?

My quandary with the fascination with this subject is beyond my comprehension... but it is there obviously since I continue to revisit this fantasy.

Combining the HW with the chastity play just sends me over the moon. Yet, it would have to be an ultimate pleasure and freedom for her to really take it to the max.

Ahhh... the phone and text beckons.

Intrigue

OK... this will be short... but you know how a picture is worth a thousand words... or more?

Later...

Previous Post...

While browsing through some old computer files, I stumbled on an old file that I found somewhere, and had added my own thoughts... it rang my bell and I decided to share. Hope it is vanilla enough to open up a hint of future fun for some lucky couple.

After that post, and a bit of more browsing some of your pages, I still have the incredible thoughts of taking it a step further... I am incredibly aroused by her pleasure. And the thought of trusting another man to bring her that pleasure while I watch still intrigues me beyond comprehension.

Perhaps a part of this fantasy is my deep desire for gender equality; I see women as generally repressed for the past few hundred centuries and still today.

My trusting her to enjoy that pleasure with another man and then share her experience in depth with me may still be somewhat repressive..? I have given her permission to enjoy fucking another man, and come home with his semen dripping down her legs to show me.

But in the end, my 'permission' lends her all the opportunity to enjoy all the pleasure she can enjoy, and know I am waiting impatiently for her return... and know the security of what our relationship holds is as strong as ever.

Adding the chastity play on top of that permission adds another level of security (no pun intended) to her ability to fully enjoy that pleasure, and know my desire is also there (and then some...?) Oh... the complexity of the human mind.

Hope it is a great weekend...

Orgasm Denial for Loving Couples

Orgasm Denial for Loving Couples

Wait… both of you; this deserves a review.

Submitted by: sandman9355

Where do I start? Probably with a definition, and a simple one: "orgasm denial" is a practice of limiting the frequency of someone's orgasms. That was easy, wasn't it? The real trouble comes when one tries to explain the reasons for doing this to those not familiar with the concept. And even bigger trouble is to try to explain the connection between Love and Orgasm Denial to those who've seen the darker sides of this play. Well, this essay is trying to show you the loving, playful, vanilla-friendly side of it. Yes, I know... When you play orgasm denial games, one of the partners, usually the man, doesn't get to orgasm as often as he used to. Where's the fun in that? Trust me, there *is* a recipe for finding joy in it. I'll be writing about four basic ingredients: Love, Honesty, Desire, and Frustration. Oh - and I'll add a sprinkle of sex, of course.

The Love part is easy. Love your partner, and let your partner love you. When in bed, do not make love to satisfy your raw need - make love to make you both happy. Making love is more than just an exchange of genetic information. Learn (if you need to) to find joy both in pleasuring your partner and being pleasured. Share your partner's happiness. Learn to say what you think is obvious - neither men nor women are telepaths - and learn to listen. The words "I love you" might be an ‘age old’ phrase; your partner might have heard this from you a thousand times, and yet... You *know* you should keep saying those words. Don't let the passage of time steal your love - work on keeping it alive.

Let's take a look at Honesty now. You're reading this text, so the chances are you're not 100% vanilla, and even if you've never done anything kinky the words "orgasm denial" have caught your attention. Either you actually enjoy the idea of experiencing this, or you want to at least think about it for a while. Look inside your mind for the truth, and be honest.

Be honest towards yourself - you are who you are, and hiding the truth from yourself is unlikely to do you any good. There's nothing wrong with being willing to accept your consenting partner's expression of love (i.e. you're no pervert if you enjoy being the one who denies, provided your partner agrees to be denied), and there's nothing wrong with wanting to focus on your partner's pleasure (i.e. being the one on an orgasm diet). Accept the fact that the idea of orgasm denial excites you, and let it become something that will enrich your sex life, not a source of self-loathing or other negative emotions.

Be honest towards your partner - let them know about your fantasies. Now, I'm not saying that you should run and tell them all your darkest, deepest secrets. You might want to keep some of those really secret, and you might want many of them remain nothing but fantasies. Your partner might not be ready for all your kinks, might even find them repulsive. But, if you never make a single step towards honesty, you'll never know where that path leads. Every journey begins with the first step, and if you wish to ever reach your goal you'll have to take that first step.

Another ingredient in loving orgasm denial is Desire. Loving orgasm denial *needs* mutual desire, it *needs* a desire for physical intimacy - and at the same time it *creates* this desire, this need for one's partner. It doesn't matter whether you're the denying or the denied one. You always want to feel desire for your partner, even more so if you want to practice orgasm denial, but luckily this is a kink that will amplify the desire.

Are you the denied one? Of course you will feel desire. All the energy you would have put into your orgasms is now coursing through you, trying to find a way out. Instead of being sated, your desire for your partner will grow, and you'll feel full of love, desire and energy.

And if you're the denying one? You will feel wanted, desired, you'll feel *loved*. You'll know that you can let your passions run free, that your partner will want to make love for as long as you will... You'll know that your partner *wants* you to let go and reach ecstasy...

Some of you will be probably surprised by the Frustration part of this essay. You see, I don't want to talk about sexual frustration (okay, I'll give it a short mention...). Instead I want to prepare newbies and romantic souls for a different sort of frustration - frustration that will be caused by internet forums dealing with orgasm denial being full of hardcore fetishist (and lunatics). Yes, surely you will feel some sexual frustration once you give orgasm denial a try - but such frustration does have a kinky side to it, can be played with, can be kind of pleasurable... Be honest; you felt some of this back when you were dating. You might feel frustrated even when you're the denying one, feeling like your loved one doesn't want the orgasms you want to give - until you realize that playing this game gives both you and your partner more pleasure than those orgasms ever could...

But if you're mostly vanilla, and romantic to boot, you better be prepared to meet all kinds of crazies and fanatics out there on the internet. Sure there are people who practice orgasm denial within a loving relationship - but you hardly ever see them on most of the kinky forums and sites. It is the ones with a cause, the extremist ones, who are most vocal (the rest of us are just having too much fun to share with the weirdos). You'll meet guys claiming that men are inferior creatures, self-declared dominas with zero experience, people only in it for the money, delusional fools with little grasp on reality, intrusive jerks who probably type one handed most of the time... Don't let them force their views on you, and don't let them spoil your own vanilla kink.

Orgasm denial can help you enjoy fantastic sex. It can lead to lovemaking that takes hours... It can help you accept the pleasures your partner wants to give... It gives you a reason to stop pursuing your orgasm and focus on the act itself, on making love to the person you love... It can help you stop concentrating on orgasms alone and better enjoy the whole experience... It makes the whole act of making love more important than the end of it... It can fill the time when you're not actually having sex, with stronger love and desire... It can help you try out more than just plain old missionary position - popular are things like long sessions of oral sex, various toys including real chastity devices, role-playing games... It might nudge you towards a path you'd have never noticed otherwise...

And it might sound crazy - you have to "give up" something intensely pleasurable, or deny it to someone you love, and the whole concept sounds real weird at first. You might go at it for hours, give it your best, and one of you might be left panting and full of unspent energy. Give it a try. You know, there's one thing you can be sure of - there'll be a * very* sweet reward awaiting you at the end of it.

���

So how would this play into us… maybe something like:

We’ve just been showering together, and you are out first, toweling dry, while I’m finishing with a quick rinse. You’ve disappeared into the bedroom, and once I’ve toweled dry, step into the bedroom to find you’ve probably gone to make coffee. Then I notice a familiar velvet bag laying on the bed. I smile, hang up my towel back in the bath, and realize my mindset of prepping for the day has been derailed. I step over to the bed, empty the bag and, still smiling, reach for the ‘A’ ring, and joining the other parts of the ring, gently but quickly guide the chastity cage into place, and finally, route the padlock through the locking pin. If I don’t get this done quickly, I have to ‘cool things down’ before I can begin to get the cage on, while trying to keep my mind elsewhere for a minute. With the cage on, my imagination already soars, and my cock quickly fills the last little space remaining in the cage.

That’s about when you step back into the bedroom with a hot cup of aromatic hazelnut coffee that draws my attention. Of course, your attention is on the cage, and the padlock ready for you. You set down the cup, smile with that mischievous glint in your eye that also says ‘thank you’. I draw our naked bodies together for a deep slow passionate kiss, and a moment later, you keep the kiss while reaching down to cup my exposed family jewels, and one-handedly manage to ‘click’ the padlock closed. With that motion, and the sound of that ‘click’ that we have both come to appreciate, you pull back to look me deep in the eye, and study my reaction. Yes… I’m yours, and you gleefully respond with a prance in your step that sets the tone for the day.

I am still bewildered at why this most intimate play has the impact on me that it does. It is still a puzzle to me why giving you the ‘keys of the kingdom’ effects me like it does. All I can do is think ‘Lord, why is this…?’ While at the same time, thanking Him. What did He have in mind when He gave you this cornucopia of power and control that I have consented to? Let’s see… yes, you get all you want and I don’t, until you decide. Fun??? Amazing how this works…

Our rules are simple; you ask me to wear the cage, and you and only you control the key, deciding when it will be unlocked. Normal for us? Anywhere from a few hours (Thank You..) to a few days (Thank You.!) to a week or so (Thank You!). You always are the only one to *click* the padlock, unless you call and ask (?) that I put it on, and put the phone next to the lock when I click it closed. All of the elements mentioned in the above article are involved, plus one for us that he doesn’t mention: Trust. Trust is a huge element to me in that it is part of our love, trust that we can indulge in honest communication, trust in sharing what is going through our minds & hearts.

Then it is a matter of time (hours, days, or a week plus) of teasing, sharing, fun, and denial, until you want the ‘real thing’ and retrieve the key for my release… and full access to your ‘real’ pleasure… and possibly mine. Why possibly? Because, while in the ‘caged game’, I will need your permission to reach orgasm. And only you know how much of a thrill you feel with that control… “not yet…maybe tomorrow”, “NOT yet…later”, “… Yes, now.. Fill me!!”

It’s been a couple weeks since our last ‘love play’ with the cage, and although I thought you were stepping into this play with more enthusiasm each time we used it, you hadn’t mentioned it much lately. In retrospect, our schedules have been hectic. OK, yes, crazy. Obviously, at this point, I think the stress of the last business deal has eased up. “Mine, mine, mine…”, as you state the obvious, moving about your usual morning routine. Except, you pause this morning, realizing your first meeting isn’t until 9am. As you slowly turn to me, I’m thinking… ‘no, my schedule is starting sooner than 9..’ With your mystic expression, you begin… “Hon, you really don’t need to be there until later today, true?” You can’t wait, and without waiting for my response, grab my hand and step towards the bed...

How does this progress? At this point, one of several ways come to mind (and I’m sure a dozen more if I know you…). This could be an ultimate pleasuring of you, and teasing for me, with my fingers, tongue, or toy…

Or it may be a simple retrieval of the key and a simple love making session, with an exquisite orgasm for you… and you only, followed soon after with another ‘click’ of your lock on my cage, teasing and denying me till later…

Or it may extend to a love making session with both of us eventually pleasured. Yes, it is your choice… with my complicated but true consent… and love, honesty, and trust.

I love you….

Alive & Well...

Been VERY busy, more than usual without giving away why... AND a computer issue with a hard drive that brought everything to a screeching halt. But... I'm back. Still only grabbing a moment now and then to ready through my favorites.

Again, everytime I think I will just close things, one of you writes something that rings my bell... like Thumper's . I just can't get into the pain side of what he & Belle experience, but otherwise... very interesting!

OK, time to shuttle out of here for a while... real work to do. Hello real people...! Hope you are enjoying your summer...!!!!! Thank you all for sharing... especially love hearing from the ladies and how they feel about T&D, chastity (real or by shear demand), and about your husband (or SO) willing to share you while he remains true to just you.

Most recently, this entry got my attention of course, over at Sexy Hotwife and comments from Lettuce bears reading again... And of course... Always checking in with Tom, and Lady Julia.

Time gets in the way

Like just about every blog I read mentions the time issue... it just fleets by so quickly I hardly get a moment to fantasize anymore. After telling myself 'I just slip over for a moment and check in at Lady Julia's blog, and Tom's, and then Denying Thumper... I just can't let it go. There have few a few moments during the week that I've thought about just blowing away this entire blog... and after reading their latest thoughts & adventures, I find myself spending more than a few minutes lost in my own fantasy. Unfortunately, life being what it is at the moment, extremely unlikely I'll live anything like my dreams. So this becomes more of a personal journal than anything else.

I would love to spend a few hours and a few thousand thoughtful words responding to the questions of Lady Julia, and to 'Denying Thumper', especially as I see a number of parallels in where he is and what he is experiencing. Hmmm... getting hot in here, time to peel the shirt. Oh yeah... completely naked now. Anyway, between the Tease & Denial, the Chastity Play, and oddly, the hotwife flashes... it is apparent (at least if one were to observe my current state) that a number of cords have been struck.

Thumper, if I read enough of his blog, initially dismisses the thought of ever considering the possibility of sharing his wife with another man. Until recently, when he seems to venture into some of the other blogs (like My Sexy Hotwife, or Hotwifing Exposed) and somehow a spark invades him, like it apparently has me. As I mentioned a few posts back, years ago, I was invited into a hotwife (or cuckold relationship, but I've never know for sure..) where I was seduced in an interesting setting, only to find out that the husband has been watching the entire time through the patio door glass. Unfortunately, I lost track of the couple through moves & transfers and truly didn't understand the dynamics of these episodes until just the last couple years, thanks to the internet and the brave sharing of couples.

And as I read through some of these blogs, I realize the labels blur considerably (and do we really care what label is attached?) but somehow, the thoughts of tease & denial, the chastity play (on occasion, not full time), and the occasional hotwife episode... just really rocks my brain (isn't that where it all happens anyway?). I wonder if the hotwife fantasy in itself, shared with my wife, wouldn't be enough to keep the emotional engines fired, without actually going the distance.

Yet... I can imagine a scene such as this: I'm home working hard in the office, and getting a text from her, asking what I'm up to (which of course, she knows full well what I'm 'up to'). When I respond with a simple 'working the XYZ contract', she responds with 'Honey, under your pillow is our special bag... please put it one and call me so I can hear the 'click' (she always likes that part, of closing the lock and all the intensity of what happens with 'the click', except she does it personally). Ok, I realize... she had something in mind when she left the house this morning. Being the inquisitive hubby that I am, I gratefully accept this challenge and follow that wish.

Once I call and she hears the lock 'click' closed on the CB-6000 (and she knows she can trust me to not try to sidestep that part), she asks if I'm in for a bit of chastity play, and heavy T&D? Since it has a few weeks of vanilla bedroom play, I of course answer with a resounding 'Absolutely'. It is then she tells me our old friend is in town for a night or two, and coming for dinner tomorrow night. And, as she always likes to be 'reserved' for a day or two before a coupling, and as she knows my 'rising reaction' to that news, she loves to build the intrigue (and our own special foreplay) far in advance. This is not a topic we take lightly... or stepped into quickly... and fantisized in our bedroom play for a couple years before the opportunity arose to make it a reality that she ... and I... would seize. This is where the deep communication, soul searching expression, committment, and trust really is embraced. This is where, beyond fantasy, that she knows I am giving a very special gift to her; that freedom to fully take a lover for the night, for her deepest pleasure, with my full encouragement and support. And likewise, in a special way, her gift to me, knowing full well that watching her total abandoned and heavenly pleasure excites me like nothing else in this world.

The first time, she wanted me in the bedroom as this journey began. As I kissed her deeply, he began to part her lips with his cock, and ever so slowly began to claim her quivering and deliciously wet cunt, and as much as I wanted to see his cock disappear within her, I more than anything wanted to look into her eyes with all the love and support possible, to remove any doubt that it was her pleasure, then, at that moment that I wanted her to have. With that assurance, she lapsed into her path to earth shattering orgasm, without any other care in the moment. I have sometimes watched from the doorway, or from the patio, so as not to detract from her assending climb to heavenly bliss.

As many of the participants of wife sharing have said, there is no man that can entirely provide all the pleasure that his wife is capable of feeling. Her trust that I am devoted only to her, and her pleasure, as unfair as it might seem, is apparently how we are wired, man and woman. I have found this in so many studies and references that I would expect this lifestyle to be mainstream by now, yet... our cultural makeup is slow to change. So why is this fantasy so common in men, and so slow to be accepted by women? I digress...

Then... there is the moment she leaves the guest bed, and comes to me, to be reclaimed and loved like no one couple can possibly love at this point. With the key around her neck, she frees me from my cage, and with what energy she has left in her body, guides me to climax, hopefully mutaully shared, and collapsing upon me, spilling her treasures upon me all the night as she sleeps.

Then of course... since the first time, she may sleepily crawl in next to me, sharing a few highlights, such as 'three earth shattering orgasms' and on occasion... ' no, I'm not unlocking you tonight love; he is staying tomorrow night too...' and spoon up against me, dropping into dreamland. Yes... she loves the play and loves the tease... and loves the occasional frustration and extreme desire she knows I have for her.

Oh... to be so lucky as some of you guys out there... I hope you never take that for granted.

Summer time...

Nothing like a little warmer days to bring out thoughts other than the usual drudgery of all the headlines we have put up with over the last several months...

Allow yourself a few moments to imagine...

Click the photo...

And then, think of calling her for a date. Yes, even if she is in the next room, down in the kitchen, in the office, boardroom, or on a flight back to your arms. Then, tell her about the dream last night... Yeah, you know... the one that keeps coming back and that you wish you had the courage to mention.

In my case... I might be inclined to go here and place an order. I know, I know... I don't have to go that far, but somehow the symbolism just touches me... ahem ;-)

One more bit of play...

Just a teaser bit of control play... Let her call the shots for the weekend... and see where it goes. Perhaps she will need a little inspiration? Hmmmm.... try browsing a few blogs for ideas.

Have fun...

Communication is so hard...

I don't seem to have time to really read the blogs like I did... occasionally a comment seems to hang in my brain, especially if I head to bed soon after closing down for the evening. One gentleman mentions leaving a couple web pages open by accident... only to be noticed by his wife. That little moment brought about a series of communication, with a few days of time to contemplate those discussions, that ultimately opened a few tense and exciting changes in their relationship.

Oh... to have such an open minded discovery...

Hope everyone has a fun & playful loving weekend.

Do you see a theme here?

I do collect images... randomly, whenever something strikes me, and too often without credit to the artist. For that, my deepest apologies, I should at least offer that.

As I wandered through my collection, I realized several themes catch my eye... smiles are big on my list, as are... of course, passion, especially from the ladies. I of course do like to play, do like my own release, but most of all... from all my younger years... love to please my partner. When she is pleased... I think it means more than my own. More on this later...

Hugs...

Another Spring Snow Storm...

Another spring storm is blowing in... perfect time to light a fire, uncork a nice wine, and pamper someone you love...

Have a nice Thursday to all you playful people in web land...

New toy for intimate play

Like I mentioned in my last post, I haven't had much time to play, but took a moment this afternoon to get my head up for air... And it has been worth the time... Several of you have a bit of spring fever and things heating up. Whew... Congrats!

And Tom found a new toy! Looks like it could be fun with the right partner! Check it out... at Kept for Her. I'm jealous... Thanks for sharing everyone!

What do you know?

Yes, still alive... and not living, just busy, like most of you.

In the middle of the night, when my brain inexplicably pops on, I remember thinking back to the subject of lists... probably because someone on Facebook was filling out one of their profiles. I went beyond, and was pondering what we would think of if we had to come up with lists with 100 'things':

• 100 Things I like about myself
• 100 Things I like about my partner/spouse (roommate?)
  
• 100 Things I would like to change in the world
• 100 Places I want to visit in my life (yes, the 'bucket' list)
• 100 Intimate moments I would love to share in my life
• Your turn... what would you add to this crazy list of lists?

I know, you thinking... 'Grey, what does this have to do with love, intimacy, trust, chastity play, enjoying her pleasure?' No, I can't answer that, just that I've been so busy that I hardly get out to the neighborhood blogs... and haven't therefore had much time to reminisce about old memories. I fear that not having an intimate relationship means 'use it or lose it' setting in again. Yeah... sex once in five years is extremely sad. That does make my life no more than a roommate status.

Happy Valentines...

I hope everyone reading these pages have a very special loving day, with all the possibilities that we can imagine, and have the courage to share with our partner. I can't remember which of the blogs listed in my list mentioned it, but the couple set down and made a list of 100 items about themselves that they then shared with their mate... I want to try it... have you?

I only wish I could share in the intimacy of this day...

Moving toward Valentines Day

This is not a day to ignore in most happy homes, although I must. She does not appreciate this date on the calendar, thinking it is only there for commercial reasons. "Every day should be Valentine's Day..." Ok, I can't argue with that. I hope everyone has a very special day, however you chose to celebrate...

Of course, some of us may be planning ahead and treat the day as a special time to explore a little fun... Have fun with this idea; use him now, or tease and deny him a bit before the weekend..?

Have fun and keep loving...

Speak the Language...

I always thought I had a command of our language, although it seems many times I just really miss the mark. I know... it takes two to communicate. Well, I'll keep trying... although sometimes I wish what I said would spark the response in this photo.

Interesting... no, I don't think so.

I'm just not into pain... but this is an interesting use of technology that I did not expect to see.

DreamLoverLabs has a toy that ... well, check it out for yourself (click on title above)

Discovered by CagedOne

More 'Enlightenment'

While she was reading from 'The Female Brain', as I mentioned in my previous post, a reference came up that women first choose a mate that will be a lover, provider, secure, now and for years to come. Then, as we are beginning to understand, and as I've discovered in several different references lately, she may dream about, or choose, a lover, for a brief tryst, or even on-going for some period. Also mentioned is the difference in the 'hard wiring' of the sexes, and how he is more likely to be monogamous to the relationship. ok... scientifically, we may understand that we've been wired this way for countless centuries, but the other driving forces are varied.

As I've wandered through a few of the blogs, I've run into a distaste for the label 'cuckold', which I also have had heartburn with too (also in my previous posts). I ran into a more 'modern', and acceptable, definition of the word that places it more in line with 'hotwifing'. That is, it is more about a loving husband wanting his wife to be more empowered and in control of her own pleasure, which he ultimately shares when she returns and recounts her latest escapade. This is too brief to go into here, but the links I've added under 'Interesting Reading' offers volumes of fascinating information that offers even more insight than I have gleaned from the personal couples blogs.

One very striking observation is that much of our current, or recent monogomous marital behavior was based in part, on jealousy and possessiveness, which is historically religious based on the premise that women were property. This is, of course, if you have read any of my previous diatribe, not who I am. And at least partially why I find the hotwife concept of such interest, along with the fascination of loving my partner and knowing her pleasure during, or after, an evening out (or in, as it may be). Anyway, plenty of reading if you find the subject interesting, and while you are at it, check out the '10 Rules' and modify slightly to apply to your situation rather than the 'open' relationship as orignally drafted. The research suggests that the hotwifing/cuckold fantasy is probably the #1 fantasy ever... possibly for both sexes, but highly repressed for women.

Of course, my personal twist adds the playful possession aspect, willingly granted, of chastity play, and extending the tease & denial foreplay of the day, waiting for her anticipated return to my loving arms.

Have a good day...

Lost couple found...

I should check my email more often... I had discovered a blog a while back that, like some others, had disappeared. When I emailed, hoping to find them alive and well, they responded with a 'come visit us on our new blog'. Jay and Joy... very nice to see you back alive and... extremely well.

Their journey is worth the time to read, and the thoughts & feelings through the experience are magical... and I've only read through 'the Australian' portion. What struck me was the very feelings I imagined along this first time experience, by both Jay, and especially Joy. Of course, the strength and depth of the intimacy and trust of their relationship is probably what really draws me, and what I really crave.


And perhaps another, although they haven't posted for a couple months...?

Chasity and Cuckolding

Another interesting blog... with some similar sentiments:

Chastity play and cuckolding (although I still think there may be a 1 to 10 scale for that cuck term)

Gotta run... have a great day (and better night)!

NEED to write more...

I've been overloaded with thoughts (ok, I'm male.. duh) and just haven't gotten out of bed in the middle of the night to hit the keyboard lately. But I have been listening to my "partner" as she reads through a book she received for Christmas, from the NY Times best seller list: The Female Brain. The comments that she has shared, along with a variety of insight as I have managed with a little blog reading, really perks up the ears.

But... I don't have time to share them at the moment. In a nutshell... some of the comments in the book, especially the Love & Trust chapter and others, makes me wonder if some of what we (yes, you and I) think is on the fringe, or somewhat kinky, is really more natural then we realize. Ok... I do hope to really embellish those thoughts soon. What a teaser... right? wink.

Happy New Year...?

Just popping by to say I'm still breathing and half-way paying attention... As I breeze through a few of the blogs, it appears most of us are really busy in the new year, and had little time to spend in our writing. Except for Tom... whew... Boy, you do know how to draw a crowd. Thanks!