Good to hear from you other than a few blog comments now and then. And rather than just post a response to your email, I thought we’d keep this between us… although as I think about this, don’t be surprised if you find this on the blog somewhere.
You are correct with just about everything you told me, although you are a bit ‘reserved’ – hope you open up more with her, but I suspect that is probably part of your history, right? You need to talk and express yourself better? And I really shouldn’t criticize, as you have probably have read in my blog. We really had some tough years too, and coming out of that was the impetus for stronger communication that finally opened this door to intimacy, like you would love to find. Sound familiar? I don’t think I need to go on here; you KNOW you need to get your tongue moving and open up! (Notice I didn’t say put mouth in motion before brain…)
To answer your other question (WHY would I give her keys and control?) and again as you probably have guessed, NO I can’t explain it either. And again you are correct – the web has some really crazy crap.. or ahh... ‘concepts’ out there and I suspect the majority of the stories are just fantasy in extreme. Ann and I have gone further than you describe you would like to ever go, and I can’t tell you why on that either, other than to say that once I introduced her to the idea, she had to mull it over awhile. Once she finally set down and thought about it, she didn’t exactly just run with the idea. Small steps, slowly, then she kind of picked up the pace and before long, rather than just a long weekend here and there, she wanted to play an ‘extra day’.. or two.
Hey, who am I to object, after all, it was me that found the subject on the net and was increasingly intrigued by it. I can’t begin to tell you what is it about this ‘idea’ that kept driving me… and I suspect you are in the same groove, especially when you mentioned you had made an ‘A’ ring ‘retainer like’ item from a modifed shower curtain ring. And wore it for days just to see if it was possible. I loved the story where you went to bed with it on, and she turned over and crossed her leg over your mid section, right on top of your naked cock. And you really think she didn’t feel it was there? Too bad – she might have got you to open up a bit (or a lot).
Yes, I think you know I made one in my shop before going for the real thing. In retrospect, she may have picked up the pace much faster if I had introduced her to the CB-3000 instead of my home made model. She may have picked up the pace too if she knew how well these things are selling! But I’m getting sidetracked (we’re good at that, right?). Yes, basically, just as in my post, I love giving up control to my sex, and she (especially now) loves to have it. And no, none of that heavy domination submissive stuff on the web – its just play for us, although we have fun with it now and then as some of her mild deep rooted dom comes out in the play. Hey, I’m not complaining, as much as I thought I might. Which is probably why we did go a very long time that one year. I could go on about that, but you’ve probably read most of it in the blog.
Only you can decide when the timing is right. Is it a matter of the horse or the buggy first? Will the relationship trust and love get better with sharing this idea, or should it be there first. I don’t know quite how to answer that, as every couple is different. This is, in your mind, intimate play, with no other changes in your life. You still get up and dressed in the morning, do the usual prep for the day, make the business decisions as usual, get the oil changed on the car, the home ‘partner’ decisions the same, and everything else. The only difference, of course, is while the two of you are in this mode, she has all the orgasms, when and where she likes, and yours are at her discretion. Sounds simple, right?
Oh I did forget the mention the teasing part. While in full workday mode, that will probably vary from nothing to ‘boy, will you be surprised’. That part of it was real slow for us, but it seems she enjoys that aspect now that we’re comfortable with the whole concept. Her imagination is totally devoted to her work one moment, and then I get these messages or calls the next that remind me I’m wearing the cage, and the square peg in the round hole concept becomes evident. (He says with a big smile… yes, living on the edge is what it’s about for us.) I wonder if she lays awake nights... love that imagination.
Would I go ahead and order the CB? Oh, you know me, of course I would. I would want to check it out and wear it a bit, all with the intent of sharing it with her. You made a comment once on the blog, that without her having the key, what’s the point of wearing the chastity device? Go for the CB-6000 model – I keep hearing good things about the comfort and I’m thinking of it myself. (OK, we’re thinking of it…). Not sure about where to ship it? Go on, live a little (he says with a smile). If not, have it shipped to a friend as a surprise gift for your lady (no, I can’t tell you what it is…).
You asked if I could ask Ann to comment on her side of this play. I’ve collected a few comments along the way, but can’t say we’ve had any long discussion over it. The comments you’ve probably read on the blogs from women are usually more in line with reality then the... ‘ahem’ … male fantasies. I may ask her to sit down at the keyboard and see if she can give you some realistic foundation for that question. I suspect it will be a bit different for every woman.
Do I think this will become more mainstream in the future? Sure… especially since the media has been gradually picking up on it, IF they don’t play the dom/sub BDSM emphasis and just let it be intimacy play between couples. (Yes, there are some wonderful true dom types out there but even they don't remotely identify with the web kinks that some males seem to be drawn to).
I think your concept of ‘loveplay’ once or twice a month sounds like a winner. And I think you are (??) prepared to go beyond that occasionally as we have. OK, maybe not months-on-end, but certainly weeks. As you know, the mysterious mind of a women is to be coveted, enjoyed, and not analyzed… whats the point? And I’m not sure I really want that. You are so right... just enjoy… one step at a time. I can’t help but smile every time I hear that lock ‘click’.
I’ve found your fantasy scenarios interesting (in a good way
You know, maybe you should post this, and see if any insightful comments come from the opposite sex. Ladies?