Letter fantasy?

Hello Grey,

Good to hear from you other than a few blog comments now and then. And rather than just post a response to your email, I thought we’d keep this between us… although as I think about this, don’t be surprised if you find this on the blog somewhere.

You are correct with just about everything you told me, although you are a bit ‘reserved’ – hope you open up more with her, but I suspect that is probably part of your history, right? You need to talk and express yourself better? And I really shouldn’t criticize, as you have probably have read in my blog. We really had some tough years too, and coming out of that was the impetus for stronger communication that finally opened this door to intimacy, like you would love to find. Sound familiar? I don’t think I need to go on here; you KNOW you need to get your tongue moving and open up! (Notice I didn’t say put mouth in motion before brain…)

To answer your other question (WHY would I give her keys and control?) and again as you probably have guessed, NO I can’t explain it either. And again you are correct – the web has some really crazy crap.. or ahh... ‘concepts’ out there and I suspect the majority of the stories are just fantasy in extreme. Ann and I have gone further than you describe you would like to ever go, and I can’t tell you why on that either, other than to say that once I introduced her to the idea, she had to mull it over awhile. Once she finally set down and thought about it, she didn’t exactly just run with the idea. Small steps, slowly, then she kind of picked up the pace and before long, rather than just a long weekend here and there, she wanted to play an ‘extra day’.. or two.

Hey, who am I to object, after all, it was me that found the subject on the net and was increasingly intrigued by it. I can’t begin to tell you what is it about this ‘idea’ that kept driving me… and I suspect you are in the same groove, especially when you mentioned you had made an ‘A’ ring ‘retainer like’ item from a modifed shower curtain ring. And wore it for days just to see if it was possible. I loved the story where you went to bed with it on, and she turned over and crossed her leg over your mid section, right on top of your naked cock. And you really think she didn’t feel it was there? Too bad – she might have got you to open up a bit (or a lot).

Yes, I think you know I made one in my shop before going for the real thing. In retrospect, she may have picked up the pace much faster if I had introduced her to the CB-3000 instead of my home made model. She may have picked up the pace too if she knew how well these things are selling! But I’m getting sidetracked (we’re good at that, right?). Yes, basically, just as in my post, I love giving up control to my sex, and she (especially now) loves to have it. And no, none of that heavy domination submissive stuff on the web – its just play for us, although we have fun with it now and then as some of her mild deep rooted dom comes out in the play. Hey, I’m not complaining, as much as I thought I might. Which is probably why we did go a very long time that one year. I could go on about that, but you’ve probably read most of it in the blog.

Only you can decide when the timing is right. Is it a matter of the horse or the buggy first? Will the relationship trust and love get better with sharing this idea, or should it be there first. I don’t know quite how to answer that, as every couple is different. This is, in your mind, intimate play, with no other changes in your life. You still get up and dressed in the morning, do the usual prep for the day, make the business decisions as usual, get the oil changed on the car, the home ‘partner’ decisions the same, and everything else. The only difference, of course, is while the two of you are in this mode, she has all the orgasms, when and where she likes, and yours are at her discretion. Sounds simple, right?

Oh I did forget the mention the teasing part. While in full workday mode, that will probably vary from nothing to ‘boy, will you be surprised’. That part of it was real slow for us, but it seems she enjoys that aspect now that we’re comfortable with the whole concept. Her imagination is totally devoted to her work one moment, and then I get these messages or calls the next that remind me I’m wearing the cage, and the square peg in the round hole concept becomes evident. (He says with a big smile… yes, living on the edge is what it’s about for us.) I wonder if she lays awake nights... love that imagination.

Would I go ahead and order the CB? Oh, you know me, of course I would. I would want to check it out and wear it a bit, all with the intent of sharing it with her. You made a comment once on the blog, that without her having the key, what’s the point of wearing the chastity device? Go for the CB-6000 model – I keep hearing good things about the comfort and I’m thinking of it myself. (OK, we’re thinking of it…). Not sure about where to ship it? Go on, live a little (he says with a smile). If not, have it shipped to a friend as a surprise gift for your lady (no, I can’t tell you what it is…).

You asked if I could ask Ann to comment on her side of this play. I’ve collected a few comments along the way, but can’t say we’ve had any long discussion over it. The comments you’ve probably read on the blogs from women are usually more in line with reality then the... ‘ahem’ … male fantasies. I may ask her to sit down at the keyboard and see if she can give you some realistic foundation for that question. I suspect it will be a bit different for every woman.

Do I think this will become more mainstream in the future? Sure… especially since the media has been gradually picking up on it, IF they don’t play the dom/sub BDSM emphasis and just let it be intimacy play between couples. (Yes, there are some wonderful true dom types out there but even they don't remotely identify with the web kinks that some males seem to be drawn to).

I think your concept of ‘loveplay’ once or twice a month sounds like a winner. And I think you are (??) prepared to go beyond that occasionally as we have. OK, maybe not months-on-end, but certainly weeks. As you know, the mysterious mind of a women is to be coveted, enjoyed, and not analyzed… whats the point? And I’m not sure I really want that. You are so right... just enjoy… one step at a time. I can’t help but smile every time I hear that lock ‘click’.

I’ve found your fantasy scenarios interesting (in a good way Grey), so look for that opportunity and take the leap. If you don’t, you will always wonder… And if she doesn’t go for it, a seed is planted. It may take a couple weeks, months or year to see if your harvest comes in. Isn’t there a saying somewhere about no crop will come in if the seed … yeah, something like that.

You know, maybe you should post this, and see if any insightful comments come from the opposite sex. Ladies?

Hope..or Fantasy?

P.S.

Post Script? No…..

Purple Surprise!

Really? No, but not a bad 'key' phase.

PS, or Purple Surprise is really ‘Planned Spontaneity’

Planned Spontaneity sounds like a contradiction of terms…??

Well, yes… and no.

I want to use it to try adding a romantic flare back into our relationship. Why?

Because a portion of the women in our world really like a plan… and yet, they love spontaneity!

An incongruity in the thought process? Does it matter? If this is what makes them tick, then forget trying to understand it or change it… go with the flow and see if you can make it work. So… in one breath, let it go, breathe in a fresh breath, and let your mind wander with her in mind.

In my world, I hear phrases like ‘I am taken so for granted’, and ‘You think the whole world revolves around yourself’ and ‘you never think about anyone else’.

I hate that, especially when I disagree that I fit in any of those frames she describes. Aren’t I paying almost all the bills? Laundry & ironing? Clean most of the house? Do the sous chef duties and all kitchen cleanup? I think I’m just not speaking the right ‘love language’…

So… has this been part of my drive and curiosity of tease & denial? And the whole concept of chastity play? No, I don’t think it is my entire drive… just a healthy slice of that pie. After reading the whole gambit of D/s (it took me awhile to realize what that was about) and chastity regimes, I definitely lean to the play side of the spectrum. I think the whole idea of her owning my penis has been a fantasy for a very long time… Even in previous relationships, I remember being led around naked with a heavy cord securely fastened to my groin. What does THAT say? I hate that label of ‘taken for granted’… but admit that learning how to be a better lover has only really ‘sunk in’ in the last several years. As much as I want to please & pleasure her, and as much as I thought my lover was able to share what she really wanted, I’m not getting that out of her. I want to be a better lover, make her really feel ‘out of this world’ in every way… and have wondered if ‘putting that key in her hand’ would help her feel the balance I seek, the pleasure I want to pour through her, and let her feel a streak of dominance that she may never have dreamed of in our intimate life.

I want to hear the feelings that our ‘lovestyle’ is unique, alluring, arousing… a Very special intimacy between my lover and me. And if male chastity adds to those feelings… I wouldn’t hesitate a moment to give her the keys to ‘the kingdom’. I am looking for the whole ‘tingly’ package; the intellectual, physical, emotional, sexual and spiritual experience.

Now I can only imagine that our ‘purple surprise’ could become a regular part of our lives, giving her the opportunities to plan, or ask me for a plan, and for each of us to add the spontaneity to pick up our intimacy to that balanced level that I think we both seek. Ok, this seems a bit nebulous… so here is a fantasy of things to come.

We’re packing for our trip to the airport to that balloon flight she has always wanted in ‘wine country’. I’ve planned this trip for months, and surprised her with all the details of a great week of play in a new area we haven’t explored yet. Lady J stops in her packing and touches my shoulder. When I look up, she whispers ‘Purple Surprise’. I just smile and stand straight up… yes, the bag is ready to go, as usual, and respond “Oh Wonderful!”, dance lightly over to the dresser, and retrieve the bag and head back towards the suit case. I ‘assume’ she is packing the key, but of course would never ask. But she stops me: “Oh no… don’t pack it, wear it.” she just smiles mischievously and continues packing the suitcase. I freeze in my tracks, look at my watch, and think… ‘of course’, toss my shorts and take the couple minutes to attach the CB-6000 and turn around to find her standing behind me holding the sacred padlock. She notes the surprise on my face and smiles with a “let’s see how the TSA crew is handling things at the security line this weekend”, knowing full well we’ve only used the padlock once before, and slipped through easily. “Be sure to pick the line with a women agent”. She chuckles, looks me in the eye as she clicks the lock shut, and as in our normal routine, kisses me passionately before returning to the packing list.

Of course, as innocently as she seems to move about her tasks, she subtly begins her tease, with even more flare, as she has been thanking me for making the trip plans for weeks. Moments later, she asks if I’m about finished, which I am, she glances at her watch, realizes we’re on schedule, and kisses me deeply again. Only this time, with one arm around my shoulder, the other hand is delicately fondling my testicles, searching for any attempt at a reaction from my semi stiffening penis. Knowing a another bit of fantasy resides in the back of my brain, she whispers “maybe a nice Prince Albert piercing would be interesting…”. I know she is not likely to ever do that to ‘her’ property, but her mentioning the fantasy alone always gets a reaction. Finding that jolt of heat rising, she backs us to the bed and a soft moment with a good stiff licking adds to the moment, all initiated by her playful thoughts of adding extra ‘frosting’ to our trip with my chastity.

Later, as we’re driving to the airport, she adds another ‘Thank You’, and a “oh, by the way, you don’t mind doing all your flying this week locked, do you?” She knows I can hardly hold back a smile, and relishes in the thought of ‘Purple Surprise” play that we’ll add to the week. She seems to have a never ending pool of teasing plots in her repertoire, and as hard as denying me was when we began our journey with the CB-6000, she relishes in the control and special care I provide her. And the special delight she adds when she finally whispers the magic words of ‘join me’ while I pleasure her…

So now, as we travel across the sky chasing a sunset, I let my mind wander with my ideas to add to Purple Surprise… let’s start with her favorite lily in the flower shop when we arrive.

What is it that I Want?

Lady J, you have asked on a few occasions what I want, and that question seems to invade my dreams late in the night. On a weekly basis.

So this post may change over the coming weeks as I add and modify my list. Let me preface this with this post is devoted more to my personal side, as my entire 'want' list starts with items such as:

• I want great health, wealth, and happiness for all my family, friends and acquaintances.

On my more personal side... (not in any special order yet):

• I want love, happiness, and more intimacy than I've ever experienced in my years. I recognize that I'll not achieve that without being more open than I've been. I know it will take a great deal of courage, expression, and being much more articulate than you know me to be. I want you to know me as you've never known anyone...
• I want laughter
• I want peacefulness
• I want social interaction (occasional party time)
• I want bits of solitutde
• I want ... more time!
  

Start this over?

I learned so much in the past couple months. Tom, Lady Julia, and Suzy have delved into subjects that zing through me like lightning bolts... I'm thinking of starting this blog from stratch (like I've learned from Suzy ) and send the link to my Lady J.

Now... just to find the time to do this properly. Thanks everyone for the comments and thoughts; please feel free to add a few more as I aim to venture beyond vanilla.

Interesting sidenote; while on my week long business trip to the northeast last week, her comment as I was leaving was this unexpected tidbit: "I want you to do something for me while you are away... daily, bring yourself to the very edge, but don't cum. See you next Friday..."

Listen Listen and Listen

I am still learning... every day. She did mention that Worshipping Your Wife (http://wifeworship.tripod.com/home.htm) is not an appropriate title for a woman that was rised Catholic (regardless of her preferences today). She would have preferred something more like 'Honor Thy Wife'... I had no idea the title was objectionable. Wish I had known that months ago; I would have mentioned it to Mark. Now... to move on to the content!