Digging Deeper into ... Myself?

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Trust & Intimacy comment

A writer "Wads" on another website expressed a few comments that I think mirrors what I have been wondering for a couple months... to a point:

...The question of how he could be ok with another man screwing his wife hit me. It all had to do with intimacy and trust. Let me explain:

Intimacy - Sex is the most intimate act we humans can experience. While this may be hard for non lifestylers to understand, there is an indescribable degree of intimacy in watching your partner “fucking” someone else. I use the term “fucking” purposely, because that is what is going on. Pure, animalistic pleasure seeking fun. You love someone, you naturally want to see them enjoy themselves. Lets face it, nothing is more fun then sex. I believe it is narrow minded to think that ones partner is the only source of sexual pleasure that he or she could ever experience in a lifetime. Some may say that they don’t want their partner to feel sexual pleasure from anybody but them. That sounds selfish to me. Believe me, a new and vast area of intimacy is achieved when jealously and selfishness are tossed out the window and a partner is trusted to “fuck around” and enjoy him or herself. When you are just watching the action you can feel yourself connecting with your partner in a way you never thought possible. Although there are three of you in the room, it is something the two of you are really doing together. I know this may be hard to comprehend for some. Even if the “fucking” takes place with the observing partner out of the room, it is still very intimate even spiritual and can further deepen the bond of trust between a couple.

Trust - Lets face it, we should be constantly learning as we go though life. Learning about the world outside and more importantly about ourselves. Through experiencing sex with others we can learn a great deal more about what makes us tick. For example: How would you know you don’t like peanut butter if you never tried it? How would you know you don’t like a double penetration if you never tried it either? I have never “fucked” two women that were exactly the same between the sheets or otherwise. Each one brought something special to the experience By allowing your partner full access to life’s sexual buffet is both an ultimate act of love and trust."

I'm inclined to agree with him, but as I may have already stated in previous posts, this would not be merely my own interest served; it would have to be hers as well, for as you may have noticed, her pleasure is paramount, even though I would want to soon follow any extracurricular sexual episode with one of our own. Yes, playing on the tease & denial route, when she decides...

I need to follow up in my next post... In the mean time; I hope everyone is having a great & loving Sunday.

Love and Kinks?

I've been bad... I've been all over the web today. And not really accomplishing anything, except gathering a wealth of insight on life that don't really pertain to me at the moment. I'm looking forward to the holidays when I will have a little more time to do the same.

Nice catching up on a few blogs; love to check in and see shat so many are writing about. I usually start with Tom (school reunion??) over at the Edge of Vanilla, and Lady Julia of course; she usually makes my day ... love that lady. And lately, checking in with Rach & Andrew, Ally & Hubby, and Bacon & Lettuce over on the Hot Wife side. If you read any of my previous posts, you know I have a history there that I had buried in my memories until reading these recent posts, and gaining some insight on what that world is all about. There are a dozen more as well when I have time...

I've been a monogamous partner for 10 years now, but in my previous relationship, not so much... the brief dip into the MFM world as mentioned, and a string of other relationships, and many fond memories...

Still, the desire to remain monogamous remains, but I can't stay in the loveless trench I find myself. I realize too many sleepless nights, dreaming about love & intimacy. The loveplay with male chastity is still strong, and oddly, the interests in sharing obviously touches a nerve... in a different way. It could be shear desire to have that deep of a relationship, with the confidence that the strength of our love would forever endure while extending the pleasure and excitement of my lover, while keeping the excitement in our relationship as well.

I know there are scores of people out there that wouldn't for a moment think about such a past time, and would judge us wrong for this path taken. Of course, if you are such a person, it is time to exit this blog immediately.

For the rest of us, realizing the depth and strength of relationship excitement at this level is excuciating, frightening, tingly, nerve racking, and wonderfully pleasurable. Ahhh.. time to go down to the basement gym, or hit the snow shovel... I think we have about 5" of new snow by now.

My first personal photo!

I participated in the Turkey Trot... can you see me? Yeah, in the red hat! Hope everyone had a safe & sane Thanksgiving, and appreciate the day, friends, family, and good health.

Dreaming again... T&D

As I was doing other things, I managed to allow sex to creep into my mind for a moment... I know, that is probably typical male, but in my state of mind, it was more of a miracle. And maybe healthy. I logged in and played with a 'new look' for this blog, re-published some of my earlier posts, and reading through some of them. Damn... I should get back to real work, but I'm a bit distracted and venture into reading into some of the other interesting blogs.

Like the wife of a favorite, Ms Bdenied, writing about her perspective on 'tease & denial' that it was a bit of a journey for her to appreciate that, even though it seemed harsh and even cruel, it really is something many of us 'males' do (maybe reluctantly) want, and hope you women can come to actually enjoy. That part of it, I suspect, only comes with trial & error, but once some of the other aspects of it become apparent, you will appreciate this play with increasing ease.

This of course, comes with a bit of a caveat, that will vary with each of us. The teasing and denial, even over a few days, will ultimately build to climax. Yes, we have granted you the power of control, and the decision is yours, and hopefully, to maximize the harvest of all that this play has to offer, you will know when to fully appreciate the time to peak enjoyment for both of you. As the blog comments mentioned, this is play we all need to consider more... and offers the honest communication possibility for this spark of intimacy. Ladies, if think your lover is not open to this, just strip him down and talk about it... the observation may prove that not all communication is verbal.

Enjoy... everyone.

Time... to get a life

Fantasy time is going away... this blog may just become a normal journal, just blow steam, and not worth anyone's time. So delete any references to this old blog. This isn't to say I won't stop by and read yours ...

I just need to focus on life.

Two is company...

OK... I'm struggling here. I never know where I stand in this 'relationship'. Actually, I'm just a room mate. Period. Add 'fool'. This has to change...

I've been reading a variety of blogs, and a million thoughts go through my head, but... in the end, I think the one thing I really want the most is simply a loving relationship. After that, obviously, is the communication. That is the core of almost all the relationships I have been reading; communicate and be honest... establish and build the trust, and don't get lazy.

Keep building that trust and sharing what passes through your head with her. It is sometimes work, but hey... many of the blogs would not be there, or worth reading with only a fantasy here and there. When both of you are making comments and blogging, the rest of us really sit up and notice. Thank you for sharing... It gives me hope that someday I can get there.

I'm rambling...