Interest in Male Chastity, Hotwives, or Both..?

I often just write when something strikes me, and more often than not, nearly use these pages as more of just a journal, or comment of findings from another blog, or realizing something about myself that I didn't know.

Checking His Cage First

So when I decided to look at my blog stats, I was quite surprised to see that 4000 people had viewed my blog last month.  4000 hits is peanuts to some of the blogs I read, but still... yikes.

This goes to show that even with my random posts, that there really is a significant interest in vanilla male chastity play, and I suspect the rather vanilla hotwife fantasies that often come with it, and perhaps my real world experiences into that world.

Well... I don't have time to collect stats of degrees of vanilla, but I would love to know where they are as we educate ourselves on these topics.  I did stumble on a post by a husband & wife that I'll bet would match many that read here.  At least it does for me...

Oh look... It is almost June; time for a new magazine issue to pick up at the news stand.  Have fun out there, and don't stop talking to your partner!

Sarah's Blog!

Tom has found a new blog with a delightfully refreshing lady that is sharing their journey into male chastity that is well beyond the norm. As I read the latest entry, I couldn't help but read the entire blog, especially how the journey began... A simple 'let's write down our deepest fantasies and then read them together..' Excellent!

What is even more thrilling is John's courage to actually put his chastity fantasy on paper. Follow that with Sarah's willingness to actually explore the idea rather than dismiss it. And, ultimately, her excitement to move ahead and discover all the emotions that his fantasy is providing to her.

Sarah & John... Thank You for sharing!

Queen of ... My Heart

I'm walking through the grocery store last night, and as I head for the check stand, my eyes are drawn to a display of playing cards. No big deal, right...? But my mind instantly goes to Lady Julia's Silken Tease blog...

Once you are there read back to the beginning... now it is little wonder that my mind instantly jumped to thoughts of Lady Julia.

No, I was in a rush, and have not bought the cards yet... but obviously those instructions lurk in the back of my mind. Oh, such a dear and true Lady...

Moving toward Valentines Day

This is not a day to ignore in most happy homes, although I must. She does not appreciate this date on the calendar, thinking it is only there for commercial reasons. "Every day should be Valentine's Day..." Ok, I can't argue with that. I hope everyone has a very special day, however you chose to celebrate...

Of course, some of us may be planning ahead and treat the day as a special time to explore a little fun... Have fun with this idea; use him now, or tease and deny him a bit before the weekend..?

Have fun and keep loving...

More 'Enlightenment'

While she was reading from 'The Female Brain', as I mentioned in my previous post, a reference came up that women first choose a mate that will be a lover, provider, secure, now and for years to come. Then, as we are beginning to understand, and as I've discovered in several different references lately, she may dream about, or choose, a lover, for a brief tryst, or even on-going for some period. Also mentioned is the difference in the 'hard wiring' of the sexes, and how he is more likely to be monogamous to the relationship. ok... scientifically, we may understand that we've been wired this way for countless centuries, but the other driving forces are varied.

As I've wandered through a few of the blogs, I've run into a distaste for the label 'cuckold', which I also have had heartburn with too (also in my previous posts). I ran into a more 'modern', and acceptable, definition of the word that places it more in line with 'hotwifing'. That is, it is more about a loving husband wanting his wife to be more empowered and in control of her own pleasure, which he ultimately shares when she returns and recounts her latest escapade. This is too brief to go into here, but the links I've added under 'Interesting Reading' offers volumes of fascinating information that offers even more insight than I have gleaned from the personal couples blogs.

One very striking observation is that much of our current, or recent monogomous marital behavior was based in part, on jealousy and possessiveness, which is historically religious based on the premise that women were property. This is, of course, if you have read any of my previous diatribe, not who I am. And at least partially why I find the hotwife concept of such interest, along with the fascination of loving my partner and knowing her pleasure during, or after, an evening out (or in, as it may be). Anyway, plenty of reading if you find the subject interesting, and while you are at it, check out the '10 Rules' and modify slightly to apply to your situation rather than the 'open' relationship as orignally drafted. The research suggests that the hotwifing/cuckold fantasy is probably the #1 fantasy ever... possibly for both sexes, but highly repressed for women.

Of course, my personal twist adds the playful possession aspect, willingly granted, of chastity play, and extending the tease & denial foreplay of the day, waiting for her anticipated return to my loving arms.

Have a good day...

Lost couple found...

I should check my email more often... I had discovered a blog a while back that, like some others, had disappeared. When I emailed, hoping to find them alive and well, they responded with a 'come visit us on our new blog'. Jay and Joy... very nice to see you back alive and... extremely well.

Their journey is worth the time to read, and the thoughts & feelings through the experience are magical... and I've only read through 'the Australian' portion. What struck me was the very feelings I imagined along this first time experience, by both Jay, and especially Joy. Of course, the strength and depth of the intimacy and trust of their relationship is probably what really draws me, and what I really crave.


And perhaps another, although they haven't posted for a couple months...?

Digging Deeper into ... Myself?

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Love and Kinks?

I've been bad... I've been all over the web today. And not really accomplishing anything, except gathering a wealth of insight on life that don't really pertain to me at the moment. I'm looking forward to the holidays when I will have a little more time to do the same.

Nice catching up on a few blogs; love to check in and see shat so many are writing about. I usually start with Tom (school reunion??) over at the Edge of Vanilla, and Lady Julia of course; she usually makes my day ... love that lady. And lately, checking in with Rach & Andrew, Ally & Hubby, and Bacon & Lettuce over on the Hot Wife side. If you read any of my previous posts, you know I have a history there that I had buried in my memories until reading these recent posts, and gaining some insight on what that world is all about. There are a dozen more as well when I have time...

I've been a monogamous partner for 10 years now, but in my previous relationship, not so much... the brief dip into the MFM world as mentioned, and a string of other relationships, and many fond memories...

Still, the desire to remain monogamous remains, but I can't stay in the loveless trench I find myself. I realize too many sleepless nights, dreaming about love & intimacy. The loveplay with male chastity is still strong, and oddly, the interests in sharing obviously touches a nerve... in a different way. It could be shear desire to have that deep of a relationship, with the confidence that the strength of our love would forever endure while extending the pleasure and excitement of my lover, while keeping the excitement in our relationship as well.

I know there are scores of people out there that wouldn't for a moment think about such a past time, and would judge us wrong for this path taken. Of course, if you are such a person, it is time to exit this blog immediately.

For the rest of us, realizing the depth and strength of relationship excitement at this level is excuciating, frightening, tingly, nerve racking, and wonderfully pleasurable. Ahhh.. time to go down to the basement gym, or hit the snow shovel... I think we have about 5" of new snow by now.

Back again...

Wow... it has been a few days since the last entry. Or anything for that matter... except for a huge surprise the other afternoon. Warm afternoon, changing clothes, and she just plops down on the bed, naked... and says 'let's talk'. Sex was a far out of the universe as it has for the last two years. I'm not sure what did it... but minutes later, we're kissing, and loving, and ... thank you Lord, invited to kiss those other tender precious lips. Fortunately, she does not like to finish without penetration. I think I was very afraid that after so long apart, I wouldn't last two seconds. Thankfully, that was not the case, and her wishes came strong and hard, and at that moment that I slowed to allow that glow... I thought seriously of backing out, and denial by my choice. But no... I started again until I also enjoyed my own tremendous orgasm.

Damn, I hope we can get back to a 'normal' relationship. Because, I still want to pursue going to the edge...

A quick read of a new blog I stumbled upon mentions her thoughts on male chastity at 21st Century Goddess which still rings my chimes. Especially her last comments:

"Another aspect of chastity is a wickedly fun one. The tease and denial realm. Imagine the power you have in your hands. Keeping your partner in a sexual frenzy but not allowing him to fulfill his need or desire to orgasm. Huzzah, that is power. Exploring the different ways to keep him at a peak but withholding the final "leap". OOOoooooooo...and the begging and pleading that comes with it? Please, please let me cum. How can anyone not enjoy that? *wink*."

Ahh... maybe someday. Also interesting that male chastity should make the news paper, as Tom relates in his blog. The Salt Lake Tribune of all places... . Although, I am a bit surprised that AL Enterprises are under the impression that US sales involve a much different role than in Europe. Interesting that they have sold 'thousands and thousands' of these devices around the globe and they're impression is that thousands of men are wearing them everyday across the country. I think it's time to quit hiding this play... wear the regular lock through airport security. Let's find out if TSA has any sense of humor...

Think play and fun... as in our lady's comments above.

As my curiosity took over, I also went back to Rach & Andrew's blog, and happily found they are still alive & well. Make that VERY alive and well. The level of intensity and trust in that relationship drives me crazy... I'm so jealous. I'm not sure I could go there with the HotWife lifestyle.. well, obviously not at the moment... I'm sure I could IF we enjoyed the same level of relationship that Rach & Andrew have, and especially if she really wanted it, and wanted to share the joy that it would bring her. (Yeah... read my previous entry). An interesting insight from another blogger... this is not for the young; it is more typically by the mid-30's group, and older, with a mature comfort of their relationship. Yes, I really do want her to be my lifetime happy partner...

OK... time to get the bike out and head to the post office. This outrageous cost for gasoline might be a good thing... keep me in shape, and maybe do as well the next time she feels a bit sparky.

Have a great day everyone...

More on that topic...

I just read through my last post... and shake my head. I wish I had a clue then what was going on, and had I not experienced this firsthand, I still might wonder if all this is just someone's fantasy. No...

It was all very true. Sorry it is the 'quick version', and not as well written as Andrew & Rach. Time is not something that comes easily at the moment...

I have to wonder if this wasn't the kickoff for a number of my other escapades in those years. Strip poker with the neighbors, sex regularly in places that would send a jolt through most people, and other fun things. I have never mentioned the Mel & Lynn adventures with ANYONE since it happened... Now I'm writing it in a blog that the entire world can read.

I was just checking out another link attempting to give insight to the "Cuckold Husband/Hotwife Phenomena" by a researcher that provides a number of items that may drive this activity. Some seem to 'ring a bell', while others just don't remotely do it for me. It may be worth a read if you are on that path also... (or think you want to).

I mentioned labels in my previous post, and want to debunk them.. Yuck! Some of the guys and even some of the women use the 'slut' term. I hate it... does that age me? I don't use the 'c' word much either... Anyway, I do admit, we DO use the slut term in the house every week, but usually in regards to a light hearted issue, like... I am such a chocolate slut. She is such a champagne slut. Don't ask me why... we just never use it in regards to sex.

The 'cuckold' label still bothers me, but I think I just can't get past the humility aspect that is usually laid with it. I just see it differently. I'm not in the mood to have her degrade me over my less than good attributes, especially in 'public'. In a fantasy, I could see myself in a situation like...

She and I are together in a large room, with a trusted friend, and about to enter into this HotWife world. We've talked, fantasized, enjoyed multitudes of great sex and lovemaking while considering this journey. We've enjoyed a few fine intoxicating beverages, we're casually naked, and comfortable as can be under the circumstances. Actually, I imagine myself, and her, just a wee bit tense... . I am shaven, and caged in a CB-6000, and she is wearing the key on her ankle bracelet. I've been caged for a couple days, in anticipation of this possible evening, and as per her wishes, my sexual energy is 'hers' until she wishes... which I anticipate, and hope, will be soon.

For as we delve into this path, I've tried to keep her as satiated as possible, without my penetration. She does indeed love the power exchange that I've consented to providing her. And she has taken advantage of the situation as usual, by teasing me every moment she can. Teasing unmercifully, but not humiliating, knowing I am still the strong confident man that drew her to me from the start.

As we've attempted to understand, debate, and fantasize this HotWife 'thing', we've still enjoyed the chastity play along the way, as we've identified a few similar emotions along both paths. Like the enormous love, trust & honesty that we've found as we first ventured into the slightly non-vanilla lifestyle. Like my desire to see her as partner, equal, and entrusting the power exchange that 'liberates her' and excites me as well as her. When, as usual, I first came onto the HotWife phenomena, and shared my ever curious intrigue with it, she thought it very strange, but allowed herself to peruse some of the blogs, and discuss in detail how it might ever happen.

As she explores her own feelings and emotions, and understands the boundaries that we both desire, it becomes more exciting. Since we're both blood donors, we know that if the fantasy ever takes place, we need a safe ... very safe 'third'. He must be safe, trusted, and clean... and realize that he is merely a 'tool' of our fantasy, and although sharing an occasional brew on the pub patio, knows there are limits to this special friendship. And must be comfortable knowing I am present and sharing in the excitement that is hers, and all hers... whether he is satisfied or not is truly not a concern, unless she wants it.

I know I'm rambling... but somehow knowing this pleasure is hers, with a devoted loving husband sharing this experience, with my energy caged and kept until she wishes, and a freedom granted to her that she now controls, is as exasperating and exciting as one can possibly express in words.

Anyway... the thought of when his cock finally meets her precious lips, and gently fills her, drives her ... and her flight to a heavenly orgasm is reached, his energy spent after delivering all the pleasure she desires... and with me constrained and reserved for her later enjoyment, and our moments later, joyfully shared in our lovemaking... I'm lost for words.

If this makes me a cuckold... lay it on me. I would wear it proudly.

Ok, I'm sure this needs some time and refinement, but ... I hope this provides a hint of the intimacy I seek. Now... my dear lady, do you have your ankle bracelet on tonight? I'll go for the drink, you delicious champagne slut.

What is a hotwife?

Somehow I managed to stray over to another couple's blog that soon caught my interest. The intrigue of what they were experiencing and pursuing quickly became a fascination I could not let go of... so I read nearly the entire blog that started 3 years go.

I have to admit that I initially thought this was not real, but realized as I read through their entries that it was... and somewhere through their blog, I realized that I was a participant in exactly what they were describing, probably 20 years ago.

They started out in a fantasy that eventually became real. I don't really care for labels, and they are apparently quite OK with the 'HotWife' label (although not quite comfortable with the cuckold label that some seem to sometimes come along with this lifestyle). I'm wondering if cuckold is a label with numerous degrees... very mild to very hard. More on that later...

Anyway, the HotWife lifestyle, at least in this definition, is Andrew's thrill of watching Rachel's pleasure while having sex with another man. (Note I did not say make love to another man; she reserves that for Andrew and Andrew only. More on that later too!) Andrew is completely monogamous to Rachel. This initially sounds completely nuts... until it simmers around your head for awhile. Then a long string of thoughts emerge from you that startle you... and as you read further about this activity, you can't disagree that at least some time in your life, you may have the same desire. Ponder this awhile... More on THAT later too. One writer/researcher claims 80% of men have also shared this same line of thinking. Wow...

Well, it occurred to me, as I read more, that I was involved in a similar situation many years ago, and I clearly had no idea then what was going on, or why. It was a couple years after I graduated from the university, to which I had carpooled for several semesters with a few other guys. One of my fellow carpoolers, Mel, stayed in contact occasionally with me as we delved into our new professions. My wife & I didn't socialize much with Mel & Lynn, as we didn't have a lot in common, and Lynn was rather high in the ranks of her organization. Enough TMI... anyway, Lynn calls one evening, late, and tells me that she & Mel are having so difficulties, and could I run over and help them out?

I remember thinking this was a little odd, given the time and such, but said I would. I quickly dressed with jeans & sweatshirt, and hurried over to their townhome. Their home was one of those complexes that was entered through either a common courtyard, or through their garage, to a large patio, then into the dining and kitchen area. Lynn mentioned coming in through the garage, and the doors were up as I arrived. Is this TMI? Anyway, as I entered the patio, the light was on and I proceeded to the sliding door, and knocked. Lynn answered immediately, and Mel was no where in sight. At this point, I am a bit knocked off balance... I realize that Lynn is only wearing a light sexy robe, loosely tied, and the dining room is empty. She immediately turns off the patio light, and turns the dining room light on... full (although it is usually half way with the dimmer). Ok... I was a bit taken aback, since I didn't have a clue what was happening.

Lynn immediately throws her arms around me and I get the biggest hug ever... from someone who usually is pretty conservative, to say the least. She is sooooo glad to see me, and thanks me for coming over, and how am I?? I'm taking this all in rather quickly, as I ask about Mel, and view her robe become even more open, giving me a sensational view down to her navel... "Oh, he's gone.." I look back to her eyes, and she knows I am full of questions.

"We had a bit of a tiff and trying to work something out... Will you help?" Again, I'm curious, and of course reply that "I'll help in any way I can". At this point, the conversation goes soft (and hard, no pun intended). "Have you ever had any attraction to me?" I stumble and stammer around a bit... is this one of those trick questions like "Do these jeans make me look fat?"

I quickly gather my thoughts and reply "Lynn, you are of course very attractive! Trim, in great shape, and exceptionally smart and respected... " And she is, it's just that I really hadn't thought of her ... in my arms. She smiles at my responses, and it's like a heavy load was lifted from her shoulders... again, wrapping her arms around me and hugging me tight. I'm not sure why, but I gave her a light kiss on her neck, and that seemed to open the door. She kissed me back, and back, and ... she steps back and lets her robe fall to the floor. I am even more dumbfounded... given the speed of things happening to me. She allows me a long look down to her.. yeah, toes, then steps back and pulls up on my sweatshirt and, of course I didn't even think to resist... (this lady could easily have been described as dom, I've since realized) and I'm finishing pulling the sleeves off as she goes for the button on my jeans. Of course, she is thrilled that I didn't bother to put on any undies in my rush to come over to 'help'.

As we began to touch, kiss, and explore each other, we're soon on the floor in the middle of the dining room (where IS that dining room table & chairs??), then laying, with the chandelier on full. I'm laying with my head towards the door, an erection that would stop a train, and she sits up as she obviously has intentions of impaling herself upon me. Curiously, she seems a bit occupied with the view out the sliding glass doors to the dark patio. Is it the reflection of us in the glass?

At this point, while she slowly teases me and begins to oh.. so.. slowly.. impale herself on my cock that she begins the revelation that I had forgotten years ago. "Mel isn't really gone... please don't move... and don't look! He is on the patio watching us." I did as she asked, but I must have gone through a range of emotions that would rock a ship. It is AMAZING that I stayed hard; I can only imagine that her slow rocking, up and down my shaft, was the ONLY reason I didn't go soft at that moment.

Ok... yes, I was 'green', I didn't have a clue what this was... I didn't know what to think. But I managed to 'go with the flow', and made it through. She then asked me not to cum in her... and I was so close at this point, especially as she was heading into orgasm. Knowing she made that goal, I told her she had better lift up "NOW" or I could not honor that request... which she did, and I erupted towards that chandelier, narrowing missing her. She smiled... laughed... and I just laid there. What the hell do I do now? My cock is thrashing all over, a couple more strong spurts, and begins to soften... and retreat! What have I done? I don't understand! I have just fucked this lady, right in front of her husband!

Lynn just smiles again, sees the expressions of wonder, terror, bewilderment, happiness, and panic on my face, and she just continues to straddle me, touching me, and spreading our juices around my body as if she were doing a little finger painting. She whispers "Are you ok?" to which I just nod and keep watching her eyes... well, ok, her eyes, nipples, wonderfully adorned breasts, navel...

I was still speechless for what seemed minutes, as she comments ... "I'm not sure you understand, but you have really helped out this evening. Thank You for being the gentleman you are. I know I can trust you and look forward to talking about this... in detail. I need to ask a favor." I'm barely able to speak... "of course, Lynn... what is it?"

"Can we do this again?" I begin to nod, and she just leans forward with a deep kiss. "I suspect you have questions, and I can't answer them now. Mel will be coming around in a moment and he is only expecting to see me." Of course, with that comment, I'm up, grabbing clothes and heading for the sliding door. She smiles as I turn to say goodnight, and ask that I close the garage door on my way out.

Hence my introduction to HotWife... now it is just years later, and much reading, and a very well written blog by Andrew & Rachel that I more clearly understand the emotions. I'm sure I have a ways to go with this. But, trust me, I would not judge anyone living this lifestyle. Rather... I would be a bit jealous.

Yes, I did visit Lynn a couple more times after that first time. I suspect I was their first, and don't know what happened beyond as they moved on a while later. I really didn't get to have that discussion with either of them that I wanted, and was a bit embarrassed to ask. But it opened my world. This was the first time I had sex with anyone besides my wife since I was married... but since it was a couple years since having sex with her too, I somehow didn't complicate my world with much guilt. We divorced years later...

So here I am, a 'regular guy', romanticizing about chastity play with my SO, and reading about the wonderful life of Andrew & Rach, for which I owe much gratitude ( especially for arousing me again with a tremendous erection. Ok, it probably wouldn't have stopped a train this time, but wow...! Hey, I am a few years older now, but in very good shape, and MUCH wiser!)

I've been thinking much about 'the wonderful life of Andrew & Rach', because they have so much going for them, beginning with a level of intimacy that most couples on this planet will never even approach. The amount of honestly, emotions, trust, etc that these two have achieved is just plain heavenly. Andrew & Rach, You are so blessed... don't ever let that get away!

So... what have they journeyed into that appeals to some of us? And how can they both end an exciting evening with a gentleman friend and then make love for weeks and months with that experience bearing into their memories regularly?

I'm sure I will be visiting their blog again to look for those answers, but for the moment, the answers include the items I just mentioned above. Oh absolutely many more are involved... the voyeurism of watching your wife explore orgasms with another man is just one of many for Andrew, appreciating and sharing the pleasure she experiences in the moment. I can't really speak for Rach (visit their blog to find that), but I suspect the excitement of just experiencing the guiltless sex and pleasure it brings, along with sharing Andrew's fantasy may be another, not to mention the safety of having Andrew nearby, along with his blessing. I do remember one comment that she made about 'feeling so liberated' in this chosen lifestyle.

At this point, I can only wonder... and dismiss the 'labels' that others want to put upon them. I better put the keyboard down for now; this is probably the longest post I've made, and many more thoughts will be emerging soon.

Letter fantasy?

Hello Grey,

Good to hear from you other than a few blog comments now and then. And rather than just post a response to your email, I thought we’d keep this between us… although as I think about this, don’t be surprised if you find this on the blog somewhere.

You are correct with just about everything you told me, although you are a bit ‘reserved’ – hope you open up more with her, but I suspect that is probably part of your history, right? You need to talk and express yourself better? And I really shouldn’t criticize, as you have probably have read in my blog. We really had some tough years too, and coming out of that was the impetus for stronger communication that finally opened this door to intimacy, like you would love to find. Sound familiar? I don’t think I need to go on here; you KNOW you need to get your tongue moving and open up! (Notice I didn’t say put mouth in motion before brain…)

To answer your other question (WHY would I give her keys and control?) and again as you probably have guessed, NO I can’t explain it either. And again you are correct – the web has some really crazy crap.. or ahh... ‘concepts’ out there and I suspect the majority of the stories are just fantasy in extreme. Ann and I have gone further than you describe you would like to ever go, and I can’t tell you why on that either, other than to say that once I introduced her to the idea, she had to mull it over awhile. Once she finally set down and thought about it, she didn’t exactly just run with the idea. Small steps, slowly, then she kind of picked up the pace and before long, rather than just a long weekend here and there, she wanted to play an ‘extra day’.. or two.

Hey, who am I to object, after all, it was me that found the subject on the net and was increasingly intrigued by it. I can’t begin to tell you what is it about this ‘idea’ that kept driving me… and I suspect you are in the same groove, especially when you mentioned you had made an ‘A’ ring ‘retainer like’ item from a modifed shower curtain ring. And wore it for days just to see if it was possible. I loved the story where you went to bed with it on, and she turned over and crossed her leg over your mid section, right on top of your naked cock. And you really think she didn’t feel it was there? Too bad – she might have got you to open up a bit (or a lot).

Yes, I think you know I made one in my shop before going for the real thing. In retrospect, she may have picked up the pace much faster if I had introduced her to the CB-3000 instead of my home made model. She may have picked up the pace too if she knew how well these things are selling! But I’m getting sidetracked (we’re good at that, right?). Yes, basically, just as in my post, I love giving up control to my sex, and she (especially now) loves to have it. And no, none of that heavy domination submissive stuff on the web – its just play for us, although we have fun with it now and then as some of her mild deep rooted dom comes out in the play. Hey, I’m not complaining, as much as I thought I might. Which is probably why we did go a very long time that one year. I could go on about that, but you’ve probably read most of it in the blog.

Only you can decide when the timing is right. Is it a matter of the horse or the buggy first? Will the relationship trust and love get better with sharing this idea, or should it be there first. I don’t know quite how to answer that, as every couple is different. This is, in your mind, intimate play, with no other changes in your life. You still get up and dressed in the morning, do the usual prep for the day, make the business decisions as usual, get the oil changed on the car, the home ‘partner’ decisions the same, and everything else. The only difference, of course, is while the two of you are in this mode, she has all the orgasms, when and where she likes, and yours are at her discretion. Sounds simple, right?

Oh I did forget the mention the teasing part. While in full workday mode, that will probably vary from nothing to ‘boy, will you be surprised’. That part of it was real slow for us, but it seems she enjoys that aspect now that we’re comfortable with the whole concept. Her imagination is totally devoted to her work one moment, and then I get these messages or calls the next that remind me I’m wearing the cage, and the square peg in the round hole concept becomes evident. (He says with a big smile… yes, living on the edge is what it’s about for us.) I wonder if she lays awake nights... love that imagination.

Would I go ahead and order the CB? Oh, you know me, of course I would. I would want to check it out and wear it a bit, all with the intent of sharing it with her. You made a comment once on the blog, that without her having the key, what’s the point of wearing the chastity device? Go for the CB-6000 model – I keep hearing good things about the comfort and I’m thinking of it myself. (OK, we’re thinking of it…). Not sure about where to ship it? Go on, live a little (he says with a smile). If not, have it shipped to a friend as a surprise gift for your lady (no, I can’t tell you what it is…).

You asked if I could ask Ann to comment on her side of this play. I’ve collected a few comments along the way, but can’t say we’ve had any long discussion over it. The comments you’ve probably read on the blogs from women are usually more in line with reality then the... ‘ahem’ … male fantasies. I may ask her to sit down at the keyboard and see if she can give you some realistic foundation for that question. I suspect it will be a bit different for every woman.

Do I think this will become more mainstream in the future? Sure… especially since the media has been gradually picking up on it, IF they don’t play the dom/sub BDSM emphasis and just let it be intimacy play between couples. (Yes, there are some wonderful true dom types out there but even they don't remotely identify with the web kinks that some males seem to be drawn to).

I think your concept of ‘loveplay’ once or twice a month sounds like a winner. And I think you are (??) prepared to go beyond that occasionally as we have. OK, maybe not months-on-end, but certainly weeks. As you know, the mysterious mind of a women is to be coveted, enjoyed, and not analyzed… whats the point? And I’m not sure I really want that. You are so right... just enjoy… one step at a time. I can’t help but smile every time I hear that lock ‘click’.

I’ve found your fantasy scenarios interesting (in a good way Grey), so look for that opportunity and take the leap. If you don’t, you will always wonder… And if she doesn’t go for it, a seed is planted. It may take a couple weeks, months or year to see if your harvest comes in. Isn’t there a saying somewhere about no crop will come in if the seed … yeah, something like that.

You know, maybe you should post this, and see if any insightful comments come from the opposite sex. Ladies?