Interest in Male Chastity, Hotwives, or Both..?

I often just write when something strikes me, and more often than not, nearly use these pages as more of just a journal, or comment of findings from another blog, or realizing something about myself that I didn't know.

Checking His Cage First

So when I decided to look at my blog stats, I was quite surprised to see that 4000 people had viewed my blog last month.  4000 hits is peanuts to some of the blogs I read, but still... yikes.

This goes to show that even with my random posts, that there really is a significant interest in vanilla male chastity play, and I suspect the rather vanilla hotwife fantasies that often come with it, and perhaps my real world experiences into that world.

Well... I don't have time to collect stats of degrees of vanilla, but I would love to know where they are as we educate ourselves on these topics.  I did stumble on a post by a husband & wife that I'll bet would match many that read here.  At least it does for me...

Oh look... It is almost June; time for a new magazine issue to pick up at the news stand.  Have fun out there, and don't stop talking to your partner!

Fantasy or Real Experience...

 

  The comments in this photo say it all.  As if he had shared his fantasy with her for years, perhaps adding to their bedroom passion, until an opportunity arose that she had to have.  Why this emotion simmers for years within some of the male population is hard to explain.  Why we chose to remain completely monogamous while encouraging her complete freedom is just as mysterious.  I'm sure I've said as much in past posts.  Had this fantasy not come to life for me years ago, I may have never believed it.  Anyone that has read back in my blog knows I was seduced into participating suddenly one night when a friend called asking for a hand with a problem.  My initial thoughts were electrical or household plumbing, or the air conditioner quit. It wasn't my hand they wanted. Anyway, as the years passed and I found this rather common fantasy on the internet and that it existed inside me as well.  I'm sure it has something to do with my enjoying the pleasure she seems to be having.

Looking back, I wish I had kept up with the couple as we didn't keep in touch and lost contact.  Knowing what I know now, I would have asked a few questions of each of them. As my memory strains to know who wanted what, I'm guessing she accepted his fantasy quite easily. Perhaps it was hers all along.

The second couple that invited me into this play was easier to accept. I've never written about it.  It was a bit of a different situation, as the husband was often out town on business.  Kate was another women that knew what she wanted, which made their desire easier.  It began when I was invited to a 'playful' evening, along with a female friend, to play poker one evening. As it turned out, we all 'lost our chips' and the husband and the other guest went upstairs, leaving Kate and I alone naked on the living room floor.  I don't think there was any doubt on the direction this all went, as Kate realized I was a 'normal' penis sized guy, while her husband was actually too large for her comfort. Wow... don't read about that often.

So when hubby was out of town, they would flirt for awhile on the phone, and I would get a rather urgent 'can you come down here now?'.  Not one to turn down opportunities at the time, I would rush down and found that foreplay had already been in high gear.  She didn't want foreplay, she didn't want my tongue, she just wanted my stiff self now, in her, NOW.   And minutes later, she would roll over and with a sweet kiss, whisper 'please lock the door on your way out'.  This went on for a period until his company transferred them to the southwest.  

Not very satisfying for me, but I was just a tool to her pleasure.  Sure she wanted everything I had to offer, and not having an orgasm was not an option.  She wanted to be left fully filled and wet.

Ok, fine... what are friends for?  We still had great barbeques on the patio and plenty of laughs until the transfer.

Still the first couple was more intriguing as I remember towards the end, she enjoyed her orgasm and then asked me not to cum.  My first exposure to serious tease and denial?  Ok, yes as Sarah mentions, the fantasy is great, but the actual reality of a hotwife or cuckold experience is not for everyone.

Years later after these experiences, I had that strange urge to give up control of my orgasms to my then partner.  At that time, my partner didn't realize what she was dealing with or how to handle it.  Nor did I.  I wonder now, years later, if she has figured that out with her husband.

If only I had stumbled on a blog like this one years ago.  A vanilla beginning that just keeps getting better every time this husband and wife post.  If you are new to male chastity play, be sure to read Sue Ellen's account then Bob's.  Wish this was available 20 years ago.

We are such complicated folks aren't we?

 Enjoy friends, never say never, and be open minded.

The Rest of the Story...

Sometime later... double click

In the meantime, take your imagination and dream.

Dream Shopper

My wish for the season...

Several of the blogs I have visited have mentioned one theme in opening up a new world with the writer's lover. Sharing an erotic dream seems like such an innocent way to share a deeper desire, then sharing thoughts and reactions to these deeply intimate fantasies.

Revisiting some of those comments in days that follow sometimes plant a seed that can be shared together... even better, if the couple can find a softer side of the internet for beginners, without all the extreme side of some of blogs.

I think that is why I often look for the writings by women, as we know their perspective can be much different than we may have imagined. As I have mentioned numerous times, I seek her pleasure first over my own, and love the tease & denial aspect of chastity play. I'm looking for the day when women share playful ways to tease their lover, and receive a level of pleasure in that foreplay to their own pleasure, and even more when they embrace that control of denied pleasure to him, and the eventual pleasure of granting his orgasm as the mood strikes her.

In my own fantasy world, as I have also mentioned before, I would love her to know that my monogamous devotion to her also allows her to embrace a freedom of pleasure seeking that frees her from the typical cultural boundaries, receiving pleasure as she wishes from other men. My only caveat to this relationship freedom is my desire to know of these moments and share her memories of that pleasure as I pleasure her again... with or without my own orgasm, as she wishes.

In my life, I can imagine her always wanting me lovingly caged before that tryst with a lover occurred, or even just as part of the teasing foreplay to our own lustful coupling. I can also imagine her rarely taking a romp with a lover, but knowing she has that freedom, and knowing her control over my orgasm, and the endless possibilities of teasing foreplay that I know she is capable of will bring a smile to her lips and hopefully will elevate her blissful pleasure to new highs. I think I have mentioned all this in previous fantasies.

So how does she really know of the impact of sharing dreams with me? As most men already know, it is hard to conceal our true feelings when we are naked... what she sees on my face may not always reflect what she sees from the reaction of my cock. Unfortunately, knowing the reaction in her mind is usually much harder to determine... (ok, stop with the laughing already).

I'm rambling again, so will sign off for the moment. Hope everyone is thinking about holiday possibilities...

Ultimate Love & Trust?

My quandary with the fascination with this subject is beyond my comprehension... but it is there obviously since I continue to revisit this fantasy.

Combining the HW with the chastity play just sends me over the moon. Yet, it would have to be an ultimate pleasure and freedom for her to really take it to the max.

Ahhh... the phone and text beckons.

Alive & Well...

Been VERY busy, more than usual without giving away why... AND a computer issue with a hard drive that brought everything to a screeching halt. But... I'm back. Still only grabbing a moment now and then to ready through my favorites.

Again, everytime I think I will just close things, one of you writes something that rings my bell... like Thumper's . I just can't get into the pain side of what he & Belle experience, but otherwise... very interesting!

OK, time to shuttle out of here for a while... real work to do. Hello real people...! Hope you are enjoying your summer...!!!!! Thank you all for sharing... especially love hearing from the ladies and how they feel about T&D, chastity (real or by shear demand), and about your husband (or SO) willing to share you while he remains true to just you.

Most recently, this entry got my attention of course, over at Sexy Hotwife and comments from Lettuce bears reading again... And of course... Always checking in with Tom, and Lady Julia.

Digging Deeper into ... Myself?

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Trust & Intimacy comment

A writer "Wads" on another website expressed a few comments that I think mirrors what I have been wondering for a couple months... to a point:

...The question of how he could be ok with another man screwing his wife hit me. It all had to do with intimacy and trust. Let me explain:

Intimacy - Sex is the most intimate act we humans can experience. While this may be hard for non lifestylers to understand, there is an indescribable degree of intimacy in watching your partner “fucking” someone else. I use the term “fucking” purposely, because that is what is going on. Pure, animalistic pleasure seeking fun. You love someone, you naturally want to see them enjoy themselves. Lets face it, nothing is more fun then sex. I believe it is narrow minded to think that ones partner is the only source of sexual pleasure that he or she could ever experience in a lifetime. Some may say that they don’t want their partner to feel sexual pleasure from anybody but them. That sounds selfish to me. Believe me, a new and vast area of intimacy is achieved when jealously and selfishness are tossed out the window and a partner is trusted to “fuck around” and enjoy him or herself. When you are just watching the action you can feel yourself connecting with your partner in a way you never thought possible. Although there are three of you in the room, it is something the two of you are really doing together. I know this may be hard to comprehend for some. Even if the “fucking” takes place with the observing partner out of the room, it is still very intimate even spiritual and can further deepen the bond of trust between a couple.

Trust - Lets face it, we should be constantly learning as we go though life. Learning about the world outside and more importantly about ourselves. Through experiencing sex with others we can learn a great deal more about what makes us tick. For example: How would you know you don’t like peanut butter if you never tried it? How would you know you don’t like a double penetration if you never tried it either? I have never “fucked” two women that were exactly the same between the sheets or otherwise. Each one brought something special to the experience By allowing your partner full access to life’s sexual buffet is both an ultimate act of love and trust."

I'm inclined to agree with him, but as I may have already stated in previous posts, this would not be merely my own interest served; it would have to be hers as well, for as you may have noticed, her pleasure is paramount, even though I would want to soon follow any extracurricular sexual episode with one of our own. Yes, playing on the tease & denial route, when she decides...

I need to follow up in my next post... In the mean time; I hope everyone is having a great & loving Sunday.

Back again...

Wow... it has been a few days since the last entry. Or anything for that matter... except for a huge surprise the other afternoon. Warm afternoon, changing clothes, and she just plops down on the bed, naked... and says 'let's talk'. Sex was a far out of the universe as it has for the last two years. I'm not sure what did it... but minutes later, we're kissing, and loving, and ... thank you Lord, invited to kiss those other tender precious lips. Fortunately, she does not like to finish without penetration. I think I was very afraid that after so long apart, I wouldn't last two seconds. Thankfully, that was not the case, and her wishes came strong and hard, and at that moment that I slowed to allow that glow... I thought seriously of backing out, and denial by my choice. But no... I started again until I also enjoyed my own tremendous orgasm.

Damn, I hope we can get back to a 'normal' relationship. Because, I still want to pursue going to the edge...

A quick read of a new blog I stumbled upon mentions her thoughts on male chastity at 21st Century Goddess which still rings my chimes. Especially her last comments:

"Another aspect of chastity is a wickedly fun one. The tease and denial realm. Imagine the power you have in your hands. Keeping your partner in a sexual frenzy but not allowing him to fulfill his need or desire to orgasm. Huzzah, that is power. Exploring the different ways to keep him at a peak but withholding the final "leap". OOOoooooooo...and the begging and pleading that comes with it? Please, please let me cum. How can anyone not enjoy that? *wink*."

Ahh... maybe someday. Also interesting that male chastity should make the news paper, as Tom relates in his blog. The Salt Lake Tribune of all places... . Although, I am a bit surprised that AL Enterprises are under the impression that US sales involve a much different role than in Europe. Interesting that they have sold 'thousands and thousands' of these devices around the globe and they're impression is that thousands of men are wearing them everyday across the country. I think it's time to quit hiding this play... wear the regular lock through airport security. Let's find out if TSA has any sense of humor...

Think play and fun... as in our lady's comments above.

As my curiosity took over, I also went back to Rach & Andrew's blog, and happily found they are still alive & well. Make that VERY alive and well. The level of intensity and trust in that relationship drives me crazy... I'm so jealous. I'm not sure I could go there with the HotWife lifestyle.. well, obviously not at the moment... I'm sure I could IF we enjoyed the same level of relationship that Rach & Andrew have, and especially if she really wanted it, and wanted to share the joy that it would bring her. (Yeah... read my previous entry). An interesting insight from another blogger... this is not for the young; it is more typically by the mid-30's group, and older, with a mature comfort of their relationship. Yes, I really do want her to be my lifetime happy partner...

OK... time to get the bike out and head to the post office. This outrageous cost for gasoline might be a good thing... keep me in shape, and maybe do as well the next time she feels a bit sparky.

Have a great day everyone...

More on that topic...

I just read through my last post... and shake my head. I wish I had a clue then what was going on, and had I not experienced this firsthand, I still might wonder if all this is just someone's fantasy. No...

It was all very true. Sorry it is the 'quick version', and not as well written as Andrew & Rach. Time is not something that comes easily at the moment...

I have to wonder if this wasn't the kickoff for a number of my other escapades in those years. Strip poker with the neighbors, sex regularly in places that would send a jolt through most people, and other fun things. I have never mentioned the Mel & Lynn adventures with ANYONE since it happened... Now I'm writing it in a blog that the entire world can read.

I was just checking out another link attempting to give insight to the "Cuckold Husband/Hotwife Phenomena" by a researcher that provides a number of items that may drive this activity. Some seem to 'ring a bell', while others just don't remotely do it for me. It may be worth a read if you are on that path also... (or think you want to).

I mentioned labels in my previous post, and want to debunk them.. Yuck! Some of the guys and even some of the women use the 'slut' term. I hate it... does that age me? I don't use the 'c' word much either... Anyway, I do admit, we DO use the slut term in the house every week, but usually in regards to a light hearted issue, like... I am such a chocolate slut. She is such a champagne slut. Don't ask me why... we just never use it in regards to sex.

The 'cuckold' label still bothers me, but I think I just can't get past the humility aspect that is usually laid with it. I just see it differently. I'm not in the mood to have her degrade me over my less than good attributes, especially in 'public'. In a fantasy, I could see myself in a situation like...

She and I are together in a large room, with a trusted friend, and about to enter into this HotWife world. We've talked, fantasized, enjoyed multitudes of great sex and lovemaking while considering this journey. We've enjoyed a few fine intoxicating beverages, we're casually naked, and comfortable as can be under the circumstances. Actually, I imagine myself, and her, just a wee bit tense... . I am shaven, and caged in a CB-6000, and she is wearing the key on her ankle bracelet. I've been caged for a couple days, in anticipation of this possible evening, and as per her wishes, my sexual energy is 'hers' until she wishes... which I anticipate, and hope, will be soon.

For as we delve into this path, I've tried to keep her as satiated as possible, without my penetration. She does indeed love the power exchange that I've consented to providing her. And she has taken advantage of the situation as usual, by teasing me every moment she can. Teasing unmercifully, but not humiliating, knowing I am still the strong confident man that drew her to me from the start.

As we've attempted to understand, debate, and fantasize this HotWife 'thing', we've still enjoyed the chastity play along the way, as we've identified a few similar emotions along both paths. Like the enormous love, trust & honesty that we've found as we first ventured into the slightly non-vanilla lifestyle. Like my desire to see her as partner, equal, and entrusting the power exchange that 'liberates her' and excites me as well as her. When, as usual, I first came onto the HotWife phenomena, and shared my ever curious intrigue with it, she thought it very strange, but allowed herself to peruse some of the blogs, and discuss in detail how it might ever happen.

As she explores her own feelings and emotions, and understands the boundaries that we both desire, it becomes more exciting. Since we're both blood donors, we know that if the fantasy ever takes place, we need a safe ... very safe 'third'. He must be safe, trusted, and clean... and realize that he is merely a 'tool' of our fantasy, and although sharing an occasional brew on the pub patio, knows there are limits to this special friendship. And must be comfortable knowing I am present and sharing in the excitement that is hers, and all hers... whether he is satisfied or not is truly not a concern, unless she wants it.

I know I'm rambling... but somehow knowing this pleasure is hers, with a devoted loving husband sharing this experience, with my energy caged and kept until she wishes, and a freedom granted to her that she now controls, is as exasperating and exciting as one can possibly express in words.

Anyway... the thought of when his cock finally meets her precious lips, and gently fills her, drives her ... and her flight to a heavenly orgasm is reached, his energy spent after delivering all the pleasure she desires... and with me constrained and reserved for her later enjoyment, and our moments later, joyfully shared in our lovemaking... I'm lost for words.

If this makes me a cuckold... lay it on me. I would wear it proudly.

Ok, I'm sure this needs some time and refinement, but ... I hope this provides a hint of the intimacy I seek. Now... my dear lady, do you have your ankle bracelet on tonight? I'll go for the drink, you delicious champagne slut.

What is a hotwife?

Somehow I managed to stray over to another couple's blog that soon caught my interest. The intrigue of what they were experiencing and pursuing quickly became a fascination I could not let go of... so I read nearly the entire blog that started 3 years go.

I have to admit that I initially thought this was not real, but realized as I read through their entries that it was... and somewhere through their blog, I realized that I was a participant in exactly what they were describing, probably 20 years ago.

They started out in a fantasy that eventually became real. I don't really care for labels, and they are apparently quite OK with the 'HotWife' label (although not quite comfortable with the cuckold label that some seem to sometimes come along with this lifestyle). I'm wondering if cuckold is a label with numerous degrees... very mild to very hard. More on that later...

Anyway, the HotWife lifestyle, at least in this definition, is Andrew's thrill of watching Rachel's pleasure while having sex with another man. (Note I did not say make love to another man; she reserves that for Andrew and Andrew only. More on that later too!) Andrew is completely monogamous to Rachel. This initially sounds completely nuts... until it simmers around your head for awhile. Then a long string of thoughts emerge from you that startle you... and as you read further about this activity, you can't disagree that at least some time in your life, you may have the same desire. Ponder this awhile... More on THAT later too. One writer/researcher claims 80% of men have also shared this same line of thinking. Wow...

Well, it occurred to me, as I read more, that I was involved in a similar situation many years ago, and I clearly had no idea then what was going on, or why. It was a couple years after I graduated from the university, to which I had carpooled for several semesters with a few other guys. One of my fellow carpoolers, Mel, stayed in contact occasionally with me as we delved into our new professions. My wife & I didn't socialize much with Mel & Lynn, as we didn't have a lot in common, and Lynn was rather high in the ranks of her organization. Enough TMI... anyway, Lynn calls one evening, late, and tells me that she & Mel are having so difficulties, and could I run over and help them out?

I remember thinking this was a little odd, given the time and such, but said I would. I quickly dressed with jeans & sweatshirt, and hurried over to their townhome. Their home was one of those complexes that was entered through either a common courtyard, or through their garage, to a large patio, then into the dining and kitchen area. Lynn mentioned coming in through the garage, and the doors were up as I arrived. Is this TMI? Anyway, as I entered the patio, the light was on and I proceeded to the sliding door, and knocked. Lynn answered immediately, and Mel was no where in sight. At this point, I am a bit knocked off balance... I realize that Lynn is only wearing a light sexy robe, loosely tied, and the dining room is empty. She immediately turns off the patio light, and turns the dining room light on... full (although it is usually half way with the dimmer). Ok... I was a bit taken aback, since I didn't have a clue what was happening.

Lynn immediately throws her arms around me and I get the biggest hug ever... from someone who usually is pretty conservative, to say the least. She is sooooo glad to see me, and thanks me for coming over, and how am I?? I'm taking this all in rather quickly, as I ask about Mel, and view her robe become even more open, giving me a sensational view down to her navel... "Oh, he's gone.." I look back to her eyes, and she knows I am full of questions.

"We had a bit of a tiff and trying to work something out... Will you help?" Again, I'm curious, and of course reply that "I'll help in any way I can". At this point, the conversation goes soft (and hard, no pun intended). "Have you ever had any attraction to me?" I stumble and stammer around a bit... is this one of those trick questions like "Do these jeans make me look fat?"

I quickly gather my thoughts and reply "Lynn, you are of course very attractive! Trim, in great shape, and exceptionally smart and respected... " And she is, it's just that I really hadn't thought of her ... in my arms. She smiles at my responses, and it's like a heavy load was lifted from her shoulders... again, wrapping her arms around me and hugging me tight. I'm not sure why, but I gave her a light kiss on her neck, and that seemed to open the door. She kissed me back, and back, and ... she steps back and lets her robe fall to the floor. I am even more dumbfounded... given the speed of things happening to me. She allows me a long look down to her.. yeah, toes, then steps back and pulls up on my sweatshirt and, of course I didn't even think to resist... (this lady could easily have been described as dom, I've since realized) and I'm finishing pulling the sleeves off as she goes for the button on my jeans. Of course, she is thrilled that I didn't bother to put on any undies in my rush to come over to 'help'.

As we began to touch, kiss, and explore each other, we're soon on the floor in the middle of the dining room (where IS that dining room table & chairs??), then laying, with the chandelier on full. I'm laying with my head towards the door, an erection that would stop a train, and she sits up as she obviously has intentions of impaling herself upon me. Curiously, she seems a bit occupied with the view out the sliding glass doors to the dark patio. Is it the reflection of us in the glass?

At this point, while she slowly teases me and begins to oh.. so.. slowly.. impale herself on my cock that she begins the revelation that I had forgotten years ago. "Mel isn't really gone... please don't move... and don't look! He is on the patio watching us." I did as she asked, but I must have gone through a range of emotions that would rock a ship. It is AMAZING that I stayed hard; I can only imagine that her slow rocking, up and down my shaft, was the ONLY reason I didn't go soft at that moment.

Ok... yes, I was 'green', I didn't have a clue what this was... I didn't know what to think. But I managed to 'go with the flow', and made it through. She then asked me not to cum in her... and I was so close at this point, especially as she was heading into orgasm. Knowing she made that goal, I told her she had better lift up "NOW" or I could not honor that request... which she did, and I erupted towards that chandelier, narrowing missing her. She smiled... laughed... and I just laid there. What the hell do I do now? My cock is thrashing all over, a couple more strong spurts, and begins to soften... and retreat! What have I done? I don't understand! I have just fucked this lady, right in front of her husband!

Lynn just smiles again, sees the expressions of wonder, terror, bewilderment, happiness, and panic on my face, and she just continues to straddle me, touching me, and spreading our juices around my body as if she were doing a little finger painting. She whispers "Are you ok?" to which I just nod and keep watching her eyes... well, ok, her eyes, nipples, wonderfully adorned breasts, navel...

I was still speechless for what seemed minutes, as she comments ... "I'm not sure you understand, but you have really helped out this evening. Thank You for being the gentleman you are. I know I can trust you and look forward to talking about this... in detail. I need to ask a favor." I'm barely able to speak... "of course, Lynn... what is it?"

"Can we do this again?" I begin to nod, and she just leans forward with a deep kiss. "I suspect you have questions, and I can't answer them now. Mel will be coming around in a moment and he is only expecting to see me." Of course, with that comment, I'm up, grabbing clothes and heading for the sliding door. She smiles as I turn to say goodnight, and ask that I close the garage door on my way out.

Hence my introduction to HotWife... now it is just years later, and much reading, and a very well written blog by Andrew & Rachel that I more clearly understand the emotions. I'm sure I have a ways to go with this. But, trust me, I would not judge anyone living this lifestyle. Rather... I would be a bit jealous.

Yes, I did visit Lynn a couple more times after that first time. I suspect I was their first, and don't know what happened beyond as they moved on a while later. I really didn't get to have that discussion with either of them that I wanted, and was a bit embarrassed to ask. But it opened my world. This was the first time I had sex with anyone besides my wife since I was married... but since it was a couple years since having sex with her too, I somehow didn't complicate my world with much guilt. We divorced years later...

So here I am, a 'regular guy', romanticizing about chastity play with my SO, and reading about the wonderful life of Andrew & Rach, for which I owe much gratitude ( especially for arousing me again with a tremendous erection. Ok, it probably wouldn't have stopped a train this time, but wow...! Hey, I am a few years older now, but in very good shape, and MUCH wiser!)

I've been thinking much about 'the wonderful life of Andrew & Rach', because they have so much going for them, beginning with a level of intimacy that most couples on this planet will never even approach. The amount of honestly, emotions, trust, etc that these two have achieved is just plain heavenly. Andrew & Rach, You are so blessed... don't ever let that get away!

So... what have they journeyed into that appeals to some of us? And how can they both end an exciting evening with a gentleman friend and then make love for weeks and months with that experience bearing into their memories regularly?

I'm sure I will be visiting their blog again to look for those answers, but for the moment, the answers include the items I just mentioned above. Oh absolutely many more are involved... the voyeurism of watching your wife explore orgasms with another man is just one of many for Andrew, appreciating and sharing the pleasure she experiences in the moment. I can't really speak for Rach (visit their blog to find that), but I suspect the excitement of just experiencing the guiltless sex and pleasure it brings, along with sharing Andrew's fantasy may be another, not to mention the safety of having Andrew nearby, along with his blessing. I do remember one comment that she made about 'feeling so liberated' in this chosen lifestyle.

At this point, I can only wonder... and dismiss the 'labels' that others want to put upon them. I better put the keyboard down for now; this is probably the longest post I've made, and many more thoughts will be emerging soon.