What IF Women Really Knew

I write here in my blog quite often of just ‘stuff’ that creeps into my head, and finally take a few minutes to actually share them here.  Well… this morning is no different.  I know I go weeks and months without posting, and for that I do apologize because as much as anything, this is nearly just a journal then really reaching out to the world.  Another thought occurred to me today, not much different then my usual, inspired by this image I had saved some time ago.

What if, and maybe I’ve said this in several different ways already, women had the opportunity to learn about chastity play much more readily than they do now, or at the least, an awareness of the subject.  If they understood that an amorous seduction was only for their pleasure, with the possible addition of his orgasm only on their whim, how would that change the whole bedroom scenario?  I'm a believer that she should never promise a particular date when she might let me orgasm.  It should always be when she wishes or plans, without my knowledge, just keep up the teasing as if it could happen today. Or not.

Would she be much more willing to ‘let me seduce her’, or actually initiate a loving session on her own?  I often think that as much as we pretend to know or understand our sexual selves, we just really don’t.  And the subject is still avoided from generation to generation.  If women knew to probe into the minds of their boyfriends before marriage regarding sexual ‘turn-ons’, would they dump him or at least educate him? 

I hate to admit this, but I knew nothing about truly pleasuring my women until middle age, and even then was a bit clumsy.  If Only… If only we could communicate more readily on the subject, our whole world would take on a new perspective.

To all those ladies that had a sexual experience with me in my youth, my sincere apologies.  If only I knew from the beginning that while learning my manners, the ‘Ladies First’ rule really meant they come first (or at least learn of their particular turn-on that pleasures them most).

If they only knew that teasing and denying me while pleasuring them often was at their fingertips (no pun intended) it would have left much more indelible memories embedded in our past.  If only they knew that their pleasure was really more important then mine… And if they only knew that allowing me to orgasm just pushes my mind to quickly begin thinking of other subjects, they would make that occasion much more rare and meaningful.  As Sarah mentions often, ‘men want release, but really crave denial’.  That’s so true.

If only my lady knew that the insecure jealousy factor of typical male possessiveness could be replaced with a much more expression of freedom for her, would she take that occasional freedom and exercise it with a lover, as long as she understood she must share her (hopefully) delightful experience with me? 

If only she knew that her pleasure, even at the hand (or cock) of a lover was more important than mine, would she embrace that gift?  If she knew that she had the freedom to experience an occasional lover’s sexual pleasure, would she at least take that gift and tease me with it, even if she didn’t use it?  Yes Please!!

That would definitely excite me.  She could be moaning Keanu Reeves’ name as long as she was in the height of pleasure; I would be happy even while locked in my cage, whether I was pleasuring her or she was sliding down upon his cock for the third time tonight.  Can I learn to pleasure her with my cock without orgasm, and be returned to the cage, staying on edge until your desire returns?  It is possible. Would I have the strength or discipline to do that?  Yes, with her insistence, realizing what it will mean to us.

I do love happy women. She may never really ‘get this’ nor may I ever really articulate my quirks to her fully… just so she uses this knowledge to her benefit … and ours.

Oh.. THAT day again?

Despite my silence over the past couple months... I'm still alive, and, judging from the thoughts included in the image, still breathing.

If you were reading last year at this time, the concept of Valentines Day is a bit commercial, and many of you agreed this should not be a single day of the year that we celebrate each other. And I hope you are...

Now... catch your breath, smile... and lock him up for another day or two, as you wish. And know, although you both realize few of those jewels are not quite as secure as you might want... know that his 'captivity' is really a delight on his behalf, especially if you are smiling when you snap that lock shut.

You doubt me? Just mention it while he is held in your hand... or otherwise. Ahhhh....

The Rest of the Story...

Sometime later... double click

In the meantime, take your imagination and dream.

Most Important

After reading an insightful post over at Watching Your Wife, I'm reminded that very high of the list of important things is the love you share with your wife or significant other. Although this is not always mentioned in some of my posts, none of this blog is relevant without it.

Love her... and communicate with her, and love her even more. Yes, I know people write volumes on the subject, as I probably could too. Understanding where each of us sits on the spectrum of life, relationships, kink and pleasure is all so much an individual book in itself. Share it with your spouse first... and then of course with the rest of us so that we may learn.

Hope it is a great week... snowing of course here in the Rockies, but beautiful. I can't believe we are already into December.

Dream Shopper

My wish for the season...

Several of the blogs I have visited have mentioned one theme in opening up a new world with the writer's lover. Sharing an erotic dream seems like such an innocent way to share a deeper desire, then sharing thoughts and reactions to these deeply intimate fantasies.

Revisiting some of those comments in days that follow sometimes plant a seed that can be shared together... even better, if the couple can find a softer side of the internet for beginners, without all the extreme side of some of blogs.

I think that is why I often look for the writings by women, as we know their perspective can be much different than we may have imagined. As I have mentioned numerous times, I seek her pleasure first over my own, and love the tease & denial aspect of chastity play. I'm looking for the day when women share playful ways to tease their lover, and receive a level of pleasure in that foreplay to their own pleasure, and even more when they embrace that control of denied pleasure to him, and the eventual pleasure of granting his orgasm as the mood strikes her.

In my own fantasy world, as I have also mentioned before, I would love her to know that my monogamous devotion to her also allows her to embrace a freedom of pleasure seeking that frees her from the typical cultural boundaries, receiving pleasure as she wishes from other men. My only caveat to this relationship freedom is my desire to know of these moments and share her memories of that pleasure as I pleasure her again... with or without my own orgasm, as she wishes.

In my life, I can imagine her always wanting me lovingly caged before that tryst with a lover occurred, or even just as part of the teasing foreplay to our own lustful coupling. I can also imagine her rarely taking a romp with a lover, but knowing she has that freedom, and knowing her control over my orgasm, and the endless possibilities of teasing foreplay that I know she is capable of will bring a smile to her lips and hopefully will elevate her blissful pleasure to new highs. I think I have mentioned all this in previous fantasies.

So how does she really know of the impact of sharing dreams with me? As most men already know, it is hard to conceal our true feelings when we are naked... what she sees on my face may not always reflect what she sees from the reaction of my cock. Unfortunately, knowing the reaction in her mind is usually much harder to determine... (ok, stop with the laughing already).

I'm rambling again, so will sign off for the moment. Hope everyone is thinking about holiday possibilities...

Previous Post...

While browsing through some old computer files, I stumbled on an old file that I found somewhere, and had added my own thoughts... it rang my bell and I decided to share. Hope it is vanilla enough to open up a hint of future fun for some lucky couple.

After that post, and a bit of more browsing some of your pages, I still have the incredible thoughts of taking it a step further... I am incredibly aroused by her pleasure. And the thought of trusting another man to bring her that pleasure while I watch still intrigues me beyond comprehension.

Perhaps a part of this fantasy is my deep desire for gender equality; I see women as generally repressed for the past few hundred centuries and still today.

My trusting her to enjoy that pleasure with another man and then share her experience in depth with me may still be somewhat repressive..? I have given her permission to enjoy fucking another man, and come home with his semen dripping down her legs to show me.

But in the end, my 'permission' lends her all the opportunity to enjoy all the pleasure she can enjoy, and know I am waiting impatiently for her return... and know the security of what our relationship holds is as strong as ever.

Adding the chastity play on top of that permission adds another level of security (no pun intended) to her ability to fully enjoy that pleasure, and know my desire is also there (and then some...?) Oh... the complexity of the human mind.

Hope it is a great weekend...

Alive & Well...

Been VERY busy, more than usual without giving away why... AND a computer issue with a hard drive that brought everything to a screeching halt. But... I'm back. Still only grabbing a moment now and then to ready through my favorites.

Again, everytime I think I will just close things, one of you writes something that rings my bell... like Thumper's . I just can't get into the pain side of what he & Belle experience, but otherwise... very interesting!

OK, time to shuttle out of here for a while... real work to do. Hello real people...! Hope you are enjoying your summer...!!!!! Thank you all for sharing... especially love hearing from the ladies and how they feel about T&D, chastity (real or by shear demand), and about your husband (or SO) willing to share you while he remains true to just you.

Most recently, this entry got my attention of course, over at Sexy Hotwife and comments from Lettuce bears reading again... And of course... Always checking in with Tom, and Lady Julia.

Time gets in the way

Like just about every blog I read mentions the time issue... it just fleets by so quickly I hardly get a moment to fantasize anymore. After telling myself 'I just slip over for a moment and check in at Lady Julia's blog, and Tom's, and then Denying Thumper... I just can't let it go. There have few a few moments during the week that I've thought about just blowing away this entire blog... and after reading their latest thoughts & adventures, I find myself spending more than a few minutes lost in my own fantasy. Unfortunately, life being what it is at the moment, extremely unlikely I'll live anything like my dreams. So this becomes more of a personal journal than anything else.

I would love to spend a few hours and a few thousand thoughtful words responding to the questions of Lady Julia, and to 'Denying Thumper', especially as I see a number of parallels in where he is and what he is experiencing. Hmmm... getting hot in here, time to peel the shirt. Oh yeah... completely naked now. Anyway, between the Tease & Denial, the Chastity Play, and oddly, the hotwife flashes... it is apparent (at least if one were to observe my current state) that a number of cords have been struck.

Thumper, if I read enough of his blog, initially dismisses the thought of ever considering the possibility of sharing his wife with another man. Until recently, when he seems to venture into some of the other blogs (like My Sexy Hotwife, or Hotwifing Exposed) and somehow a spark invades him, like it apparently has me. As I mentioned a few posts back, years ago, I was invited into a hotwife (or cuckold relationship, but I've never know for sure..) where I was seduced in an interesting setting, only to find out that the husband has been watching the entire time through the patio door glass. Unfortunately, I lost track of the couple through moves & transfers and truly didn't understand the dynamics of these episodes until just the last couple years, thanks to the internet and the brave sharing of couples.

And as I read through some of these blogs, I realize the labels blur considerably (and do we really care what label is attached?) but somehow, the thoughts of tease & denial, the chastity play (on occasion, not full time), and the occasional hotwife episode... just really rocks my brain (isn't that where it all happens anyway?). I wonder if the hotwife fantasy in itself, shared with my wife, wouldn't be enough to keep the emotional engines fired, without actually going the distance.

Yet... I can imagine a scene such as this: I'm home working hard in the office, and getting a text from her, asking what I'm up to (which of course, she knows full well what I'm 'up to'). When I respond with a simple 'working the XYZ contract', she responds with 'Honey, under your pillow is our special bag... please put it one and call me so I can hear the 'click' (she always likes that part, of closing the lock and all the intensity of what happens with 'the click', except she does it personally). Ok, I realize... she had something in mind when she left the house this morning. Being the inquisitive hubby that I am, I gratefully accept this challenge and follow that wish.

Once I call and she hears the lock 'click' closed on the CB-6000 (and she knows she can trust me to not try to sidestep that part), she asks if I'm in for a bit of chastity play, and heavy T&D? Since it has a few weeks of vanilla bedroom play, I of course answer with a resounding 'Absolutely'. It is then she tells me our old friend is in town for a night or two, and coming for dinner tomorrow night. And, as she always likes to be 'reserved' for a day or two before a coupling, and as she knows my 'rising reaction' to that news, she loves to build the intrigue (and our own special foreplay) far in advance. This is not a topic we take lightly... or stepped into quickly... and fantisized in our bedroom play for a couple years before the opportunity arose to make it a reality that she ... and I... would seize. This is where the deep communication, soul searching expression, committment, and trust really is embraced. This is where, beyond fantasy, that she knows I am giving a very special gift to her; that freedom to fully take a lover for the night, for her deepest pleasure, with my full encouragement and support. And likewise, in a special way, her gift to me, knowing full well that watching her total abandoned and heavenly pleasure excites me like nothing else in this world.

The first time, she wanted me in the bedroom as this journey began. As I kissed her deeply, he began to part her lips with his cock, and ever so slowly began to claim her quivering and deliciously wet cunt, and as much as I wanted to see his cock disappear within her, I more than anything wanted to look into her eyes with all the love and support possible, to remove any doubt that it was her pleasure, then, at that moment that I wanted her to have. With that assurance, she lapsed into her path to earth shattering orgasm, without any other care in the moment. I have sometimes watched from the doorway, or from the patio, so as not to detract from her assending climb to heavenly bliss.

As many of the participants of wife sharing have said, there is no man that can entirely provide all the pleasure that his wife is capable of feeling. Her trust that I am devoted only to her, and her pleasure, as unfair as it might seem, is apparently how we are wired, man and woman. I have found this in so many studies and references that I would expect this lifestyle to be mainstream by now, yet... our cultural makeup is slow to change. So why is this fantasy so common in men, and so slow to be accepted by women? I digress...

Then... there is the moment she leaves the guest bed, and comes to me, to be reclaimed and loved like no one couple can possibly love at this point. With the key around her neck, she frees me from my cage, and with what energy she has left in her body, guides me to climax, hopefully mutaully shared, and collapsing upon me, spilling her treasures upon me all the night as she sleeps.

Then of course... since the first time, she may sleepily crawl in next to me, sharing a few highlights, such as 'three earth shattering orgasms' and on occasion... ' no, I'm not unlocking you tonight love; he is staying tomorrow night too...' and spoon up against me, dropping into dreamland. Yes... she loves the play and loves the tease... and loves the occasional frustration and extreme desire she knows I have for her.

Oh... to be so lucky as some of you guys out there... I hope you never take that for granted.

More 'Enlightenment'

While she was reading from 'The Female Brain', as I mentioned in my previous post, a reference came up that women first choose a mate that will be a lover, provider, secure, now and for years to come. Then, as we are beginning to understand, and as I've discovered in several different references lately, she may dream about, or choose, a lover, for a brief tryst, or even on-going for some period. Also mentioned is the difference in the 'hard wiring' of the sexes, and how he is more likely to be monogamous to the relationship. ok... scientifically, we may understand that we've been wired this way for countless centuries, but the other driving forces are varied.

As I've wandered through a few of the blogs, I've run into a distaste for the label 'cuckold', which I also have had heartburn with too (also in my previous posts). I ran into a more 'modern', and acceptable, definition of the word that places it more in line with 'hotwifing'. That is, it is more about a loving husband wanting his wife to be more empowered and in control of her own pleasure, which he ultimately shares when she returns and recounts her latest escapade. This is too brief to go into here, but the links I've added under 'Interesting Reading' offers volumes of fascinating information that offers even more insight than I have gleaned from the personal couples blogs.

One very striking observation is that much of our current, or recent monogomous marital behavior was based in part, on jealousy and possessiveness, which is historically religious based on the premise that women were property. This is, of course, if you have read any of my previous diatribe, not who I am. And at least partially why I find the hotwife concept of such interest, along with the fascination of loving my partner and knowing her pleasure during, or after, an evening out (or in, as it may be). Anyway, plenty of reading if you find the subject interesting, and while you are at it, check out the '10 Rules' and modify slightly to apply to your situation rather than the 'open' relationship as orignally drafted. The research suggests that the hotwifing/cuckold fantasy is probably the #1 fantasy ever... possibly for both sexes, but highly repressed for women.

Of course, my personal twist adds the playful possession aspect, willingly granted, of chastity play, and extending the tease & denial foreplay of the day, waiting for her anticipated return to my loving arms.

Have a good day...

Love and Kinks?

I've been bad... I've been all over the web today. And not really accomplishing anything, except gathering a wealth of insight on life that don't really pertain to me at the moment. I'm looking forward to the holidays when I will have a little more time to do the same.

Nice catching up on a few blogs; love to check in and see shat so many are writing about. I usually start with Tom (school reunion??) over at the Edge of Vanilla, and Lady Julia of course; she usually makes my day ... love that lady. And lately, checking in with Rach & Andrew, Ally & Hubby, and Bacon & Lettuce over on the Hot Wife side. If you read any of my previous posts, you know I have a history there that I had buried in my memories until reading these recent posts, and gaining some insight on what that world is all about. There are a dozen more as well when I have time...

I've been a monogamous partner for 10 years now, but in my previous relationship, not so much... the brief dip into the MFM world as mentioned, and a string of other relationships, and many fond memories...

Still, the desire to remain monogamous remains, but I can't stay in the loveless trench I find myself. I realize too many sleepless nights, dreaming about love & intimacy. The loveplay with male chastity is still strong, and oddly, the interests in sharing obviously touches a nerve... in a different way. It could be shear desire to have that deep of a relationship, with the confidence that the strength of our love would forever endure while extending the pleasure and excitement of my lover, while keeping the excitement in our relationship as well.

I know there are scores of people out there that wouldn't for a moment think about such a past time, and would judge us wrong for this path taken. Of course, if you are such a person, it is time to exit this blog immediately.

For the rest of us, realizing the depth and strength of relationship excitement at this level is excuciating, frightening, tingly, nerve racking, and wonderfully pleasurable. Ahhh.. time to go down to the basement gym, or hit the snow shovel... I think we have about 5" of new snow by now.