On the Same Path

As I read through some of the blogs, I quit often stumble on one that really rings true to my interests, and Tom Allen again points to one I did not know about that really caught my interest. Titled 'Devotional Sex' , this site, free BTW, grasps the concept of women that are in total control of their intimacy, using a new vocabulary that I think the most vanilla couple could even get used to.  I don't think you would want to miss the concepts introduced here, and while relatively new, there is not alot of comment on the forum portion of the site yet.

I Love Happy Women! And this path may help...

There seems to be alot of similar parallels here to chastity play, and at the same time, some distinctions that some couples will embrace that are just on the edge of vanilla (read 'boring') sex...

So... your thoughts and reactions?

Orgasm is Not the Goal

I'm not even sure how I stumbled upon this link 'Healing with Sexual Relations'  and really havent' taken enough time to explore it other than to breeze through a few passages from the book mentioned there:

Cupid's Poisoned Arrow: From Habit to Harmony in Sexual Relationships, by Marnia Robinson

Strangely enough, she has done a wealth of research only to find that orgasm should not be the goal.  Imagine that.  Sound familiar gents?  Anyway... yet another book to add to the foray of information that promises to enrich our relationships.

 Another blog with a wealth of information regarding the male orgasm... 

I've got to run but had to share a quick couple items in the Thursday race for the weekend. Cheers.

What IF Women Really Knew

I write here in my blog quite often of just ‘stuff’ that creeps into my head, and finally take a few minutes to actually share them here.  Well… this morning is no different.  I know I go weeks and months without posting, and for that I do apologize because as much as anything, this is nearly just a journal then really reaching out to the world.  Another thought occurred to me today, not much different then my usual, inspired by this image I had saved some time ago.

What if, and maybe I’ve said this in several different ways already, women had the opportunity to learn about chastity play much more readily than they do now, or at the least, an awareness of the subject.  If they understood that an amorous seduction was only for their pleasure, with the possible addition of his orgasm only on their whim, how would that change the whole bedroom scenario?  I'm a believer that she should never promise a particular date when she might let me orgasm.  It should always be when she wishes or plans, without my knowledge, just keep up the teasing as if it could happen today. Or not.

Would she be much more willing to ‘let me seduce her’, or actually initiate a loving session on her own?  I often think that as much as we pretend to know or understand our sexual selves, we just really don’t.  And the subject is still avoided from generation to generation.  If women knew to probe into the minds of their boyfriends before marriage regarding sexual ‘turn-ons’, would they dump him or at least educate him? 

I hate to admit this, but I knew nothing about truly pleasuring my women until middle age, and even then was a bit clumsy.  If Only… If only we could communicate more readily on the subject, our whole world would take on a new perspective.

To all those ladies that had a sexual experience with me in my youth, my sincere apologies.  If only I knew from the beginning that while learning my manners, the ‘Ladies First’ rule really meant they come first (or at least learn of their particular turn-on that pleasures them most).

If they only knew that teasing and denying me while pleasuring them often was at their fingertips (no pun intended) it would have left much more indelible memories embedded in our past.  If only they knew that their pleasure was really more important then mine… And if they only knew that allowing me to orgasm just pushes my mind to quickly begin thinking of other subjects, they would make that occasion much more rare and meaningful.  As Sarah mentions often, ‘men want release, but really crave denial’.  That’s so true.

If only my lady knew that the insecure jealousy factor of typical male possessiveness could be replaced with a much more expression of freedom for her, would she take that occasional freedom and exercise it with a lover, as long as she understood she must share her (hopefully) delightful experience with me? 

If only she knew that her pleasure, even at the hand (or cock) of a lover was more important than mine, would she embrace that gift?  If she knew that she had the freedom to experience an occasional lover’s sexual pleasure, would she at least take that gift and tease me with it, even if she didn’t use it?  Yes Please!!

That would definitely excite me.  She could be moaning Keanu Reeves’ name as long as she was in the height of pleasure; I would be happy even while locked in my cage, whether I was pleasuring her or she was sliding down upon his cock for the third time tonight.  Can I learn to pleasure her with my cock without orgasm, and be returned to the cage, staying on edge until your desire returns?  It is possible. Would I have the strength or discipline to do that?  Yes, with her insistence, realizing what it will mean to us.

I do love happy women. She may never really ‘get this’ nor may I ever really articulate my quirks to her fully… just so she uses this knowledge to her benefit … and ours.

She May Not Be Happy You Waited...

If you've gone through the process, time has passed, and suddenly she wakes one night and turns to you and says... "YOU OWE ME!"

"What?" you groggily respond.

It occurs to her, that if you had the courage to mention your dreams, fantasies, and thoughts that you would have been teased and denied for a decade earlier, and she would have been enjoying a delicious decade of abundant loving and pleasure.

Maybe you should think about this now, instead of waiting 'till the time is right'.  Wouldn't you much rather come clean and be able to discuss anything and everything with your partner?

Remember, this is for her pleasure too; this is not all about you.  And the benefits go well beyond your occasional fantasy..  As I saw this image today, it occurred to me that it applies to chastity play as well.  By entering the world of chastity play with her, you lose that precious access to your ability to pleasure yourself whenever you wish.  But in the long run, you gain much much more by surrendering that key to her. If you read the post last week about the BIG question Why, you should have some insight why the denial is important to you.  And as she realizes all the benefits to her, and why the teasing that she does each day comes back to her as priceless gifts of time and pleasure from you, well...

Now follow this up with the other saying that also struck me today...

And add to the end of this one 'For You and Especially for Her'. Game On... now, go play.


Have a great week.  Caged.

The BIG Question of WHY Would He Want and Desire Chastity?

I can't tell you how often this subject comes up across the blogs and within myself as well, but I was recently reminded of a very well written explanation at Kelmag's blog that may be worth your time if this also haunts you periodically.  While this is a fairly long post, read through it... a number of very interesting points are included that will interest you, and especially women who are aghast at the thought of keeping her man chaste.  She may be looking to order a cage quickly...

What needs a bit of emphasis is the teasing part of the equation... and pleasing her any time and place she desires.

I was reminded of Kelmag's post while reading Lady Grey's blog (no association BTW, I haven't been lucky enough to meet her).  A number of different responses surface in the comments as to the 'why' question, and since a number of us vary across the spectrum regarding the interest in pure equal partnership to a full wife led dominance.  You can understand from the comments in both blogs why chastity play works across the board for those inspired with the courage to bring up the subject.

I have a full boatload of tasks to accomplish and shouldn't be posting this morning, but this is always a question I hear across the blogs.  And I needed to let everyone know I'm still alive and rolling the dice...

Fantasy or Real Experience...

 

  The comments in this photo say it all.  As if he had shared his fantasy with her for years, perhaps adding to their bedroom passion, until an opportunity arose that she had to have.  Why this emotion simmers for years within some of the male population is hard to explain.  Why we chose to remain completely monogamous while encouraging her complete freedom is just as mysterious.  I'm sure I've said as much in past posts.  Had this fantasy not come to life for me years ago, I may have never believed it.  Anyone that has read back in my blog knows I was seduced into participating suddenly one night when a friend called asking for a hand with a problem.  My initial thoughts were electrical or household plumbing, or the air conditioner quit. It wasn't my hand they wanted. Anyway, as the years passed and I found this rather common fantasy on the internet and that it existed inside me as well.  I'm sure it has something to do with my enjoying the pleasure she seems to be having.

Looking back, I wish I had kept up with the couple as we didn't keep in touch and lost contact.  Knowing what I know now, I would have asked a few questions of each of them. As my memory strains to know who wanted what, I'm guessing she accepted his fantasy quite easily. Perhaps it was hers all along.

The second couple that invited me into this play was easier to accept. I've never written about it.  It was a bit of a different situation, as the husband was often out town on business.  Kate was another women that knew what she wanted, which made their desire easier.  It began when I was invited to a 'playful' evening, along with a female friend, to play poker one evening. As it turned out, we all 'lost our chips' and the husband and the other guest went upstairs, leaving Kate and I alone naked on the living room floor.  I don't think there was any doubt on the direction this all went, as Kate realized I was a 'normal' penis sized guy, while her husband was actually too large for her comfort. Wow... don't read about that often.

So when hubby was out of town, they would flirt for awhile on the phone, and I would get a rather urgent 'can you come down here now?'.  Not one to turn down opportunities at the time, I would rush down and found that foreplay had already been in high gear.  She didn't want foreplay, she didn't want my tongue, she just wanted my stiff self now, in her, NOW.   And minutes later, she would roll over and with a sweet kiss, whisper 'please lock the door on your way out'.  This went on for a period until his company transferred them to the southwest.  

Not very satisfying for me, but I was just a tool to her pleasure.  Sure she wanted everything I had to offer, and not having an orgasm was not an option.  She wanted to be left fully filled and wet.

Ok, fine... what are friends for?  We still had great barbeques on the patio and plenty of laughs until the transfer.

Still the first couple was more intriguing as I remember towards the end, she enjoyed her orgasm and then asked me not to cum.  My first exposure to serious tease and denial?  Ok, yes as Sarah mentions, the fantasy is great, but the actual reality of a hotwife or cuckold experience is not for everyone.

Years later after these experiences, I had that strange urge to give up control of my orgasms to my then partner.  At that time, my partner didn't realize what she was dealing with or how to handle it.  Nor did I.  I wonder now, years later, if she has figured that out with her husband.

If only I had stumbled on a blog like this one years ago.  A vanilla beginning that just keeps getting better every time this husband and wife post.  If you are new to male chastity play, be sure to read Sue Ellen's account then Bob's.  Wish this was available 20 years ago.

We are such complicated folks aren't we?

 Enjoy friends, never say never, and be open minded.

Rule of Three

Our game, our rules, our fun... but it all starts with that element that we all talk about.  Well, two actually... communication and trust. And then find your own limits or boundaries or ... not.  The bottom line is just do it and enjoy your connection. Because after today... is one day less fun you could have been thrilled with.

Does Rule of Three really mean anything? No... She has the key and we mutually agree it is up to her. The Three merely reminds her she controls the bedroom fun. We just don't engage in this full time (well, at least not yet).  Just whenever the whim strikes her... and she has that ornery tease and denial streak that red heads seem to have.

Oh Where to Hide the Key

Just our little secret... we won't tell him that the key to his cage is tucked safely in your tummy...



And that you are staying home for our trip away next week...


Shhhh... It's just our little secret, ok?

So many little bits of fun that come with chastity play, that she will have fun with when they get past the initial "You Want to do What?"

Open up and live & love...

Thank You for the Click

Seems all of the people that find these chastity play pages have a common item that we all love.  The sound of that 'click' as the lock closes, and we males have granted our lover the power of surrender over us.

After the click, we all have a variety of paths that make our day.  Different is fine, as long as our lover is on the same path, which is where some of us need a 'course correction'.  Probably the hardest part of that 'taking the same path' is just simply the communication as the journey begins.  Part of it is simply the realization for her that it is okay to lock him up, to tease him, to deny him, to take the play, the teasing from him, the orgasm he wants her to totally enjoy with all his blessings, while he does not.  Not this time.  Maybe not next time, or the time after that.  Yes his desire builds, yes he enjoys the tease, even if it drives him up the wall.  Don't feel guilty... just say Thank You lover.  And continue to tease, and when the desire strikes you, take him.

After all... he granted you that freedom, that power, that pleasure in knowing your pleasure is his pleasure. Take it.  Embrace it, and don't look back to the days before the two of you discovered chastity play. And enjoy that moment when you know he has again been brought to the very edge, ... only this time he explodes in a moment you choose to feel his release...

For many that write here, joy comes in locking him right back up again.  For some of us, a break until the mood strikes her again, as I wrote in the 'Rule of Three' is really keeping the fire going.  It seems lately, I find more women want the lockup to continue.  Okay... I can live with that. Enjoy.

Control & Tease

The thought of control without teasing just turns me numb... I know her having control is just enough to blow my socks off, but adding a bit of daily teasing to orgasm control just doubles the fun with this game.


While browsing during the holidays, I stumbled on a video where the wife had managed to tie up her husband, and of course with his cooperation, edged him over and over with her tongue.  They were so adapt at this game that with his hints of coming too close, she would let go just in time... kissing the head of his penis but not stimulating him to orgasm.  Their ability to do this went on for easy 20 minutes before she decided to not let him orgasm and grabbed a bag of frozen vegies to cool him down and return him to his cage.  She did of course console him while locking him up, saying maybe next time, without saying when that might be.  I was waiting for her to spoil an orgasm, but not this time.  Absolutely mind blowing... and 'click'.  Locked and Loved.

While that sounds absolutely torturous, it was obvious they loved this game, and while he obviously desperately wanted to orgasm, she knew he still craved the denial.  She just passionately kissed the head of his cock and continued.  We are such a mystery to our partners and ourselves even.  In my mind, he would turn around and pleasure her to multiple orgasms to her hearts content.

Ahhh...  hope you can find time in today's schedule for some play of your own.  Practice Practice Practice.

Update: this isn't the one I remember, but close...  enjoy.  Or from the same couple.. whew!

Believe It ... He DOES really mean it.

While getting a few rare moments again, I wandered over to MikeCB's Chastity Journey and read a recent post that I would agree with regarding whether women really believe we mean it. Tease me and deny me. The truth is, years ago in my youth, I would have probably not believed it either... WHY would a man rather be repeatedly on the edge and not be allowed to orgasm, and love to see his partner pleasured to the hilt? As ofter as she desires?

While we are all wired a bit differently, and each of us will vary slightly in those desires and perhaps the degree of being teased & denied, unmistakeably there are many men out here that want exactly that. And as many of the 'real' life blogs are finally saying... the benefits for her typically exceed anything he is experiencing.

Wander over and check the full text... and ladies, if you don't trust the concept, just feel free to try it. Once you start the journey, I doubt you will want to go back...

Grey.

Fortune Cookies?

Couldn't resist... But wouldn't it be interesting to have a fortune cookie with real messages?

Photos Say So Much!

I love photos that express those 'thousand words', like this one, with of course his obvious chastity, and her loving message with one hand, and the grip she has with the other. Then of course, the anklet with the key dangling from her ankle. How can we not just smile? Lucky couple...!

When will the players in the chastity world share more photos like this one?

Or is everyone just having too much fun in 'the game'? 'Love on' everyone, and grab that camera once in a while and share.


Imagine the next photo with him caged and a caption such as 'Shhhh... I'm thinking of another dozen orgasms before bringing him to one... or maybe next week?'

Your caption?

Rule of Three

When she asks for the ‘Rule of Three’, I can of course agree, or not. But, of course, curiousity usually always leads to a concensual ‘Yes’… So, will it be three minutes, hours, days… or months? Trying to outguess her always gets me in trouble.

And, depending upon my mood at the moment, may illicit entirely different reponses from me… from really wanting three minutes, to hoping for three months. As I continue to learn about myself, the short term desire for the ‘3 minutes’ lockup is just that. Three minutes, and a typical lovemaking moment of heaven with her. And maybe a week before life and busy schedules allow another break and time for love.

But, on the other hand… three months of spending time in her tease & denial lockup somehow always ends up in much more frequent lovemaking, although my chance of reaching the big ‘O’ is totally up to her whim under the ‘Rule of Three’. To make it even more interesting, since it is her decision, what I may think is 3 hours might end up being a week.

And I don’t care… and I do care. As Sarah Jameson has pointed out, we males do want our orgasm, but crave the denial. Yes, well, everything in our world just isn’t black and white is it. So the denial and frustration, being what it is, is truly what we want, especially with a heavy dose of teasing… Don’t try to figure us out, just go with it. What does make it all worth while is the pleasure she derives from both the orgasms that I drive her to, and the pleasure she enjoys having me caged. I’m getting an erection just thinking about it… If you want a better understanding of male chastity, please read Sarah’s ‘Guide to Male Chastity’. You won’t be sorry; it will be in your mind until you experience it yourself.

And how the ‘Rule of Three’ is communicated is not important… email, text, or just a whisper in my ear as we pass.

And today, nearly 1pm, it is a simple text message. From my home office, I wander up to the bedroom, and there on my pillow is the velvet bag. Quickly, trying not to think too much of the consequences yet, I drop my shorts and prepare to lock myself up. As I finish, I thread the lock through the hole, and text back ‘Do you want to hear the click?’. Minutes seem to pass, when today, instead of the usual ‘Absolutely’, her response is ‘Click it NOW’. With a deep breath, I push the lock together with the usual positive sound that it is now secure. I text back ‘Let the Fun begin..’ and receive a quick return text ‘Love You!’.

Ahhh… here we go. Surrender… not submission.

And another text... 'Guess what I have done with the key?'

Real Men Wear One...

And the Key is Hers...

Sarah Really Hits It Again!

Sarah's recent posting on the benefits of male chastity from the womans viewpoint is right on the mark again... So many excellent points that you just have to read the post. Getting these across to both partners in the relationship really head for the win-win (although I wonder about the 'win' for me).

As I've mentioned in previous posts of my own, I wondered how or if the concept of 'sharing' or a modern version of cuckolding, would ever play in my own head, along with chastity play. Obviously I'm not the first to consider it, and being of mind that any jealousy that spiked in my mind would be secondary to her pleasure, and her feeling of freedom to make that choice to play and experience others. Sarah and John have shared that same discussion (and on passionate levels too according to Sarah), and even though she keeps that choice as part of the power she emboldens within chastity play, it is there to spice the play to a higher level.

So her excellent writing continues...

" ... the thought of being able to have no-strings sex with someone new and scratch that itch, yet still have the secur­ity, intim­acy and warmth of a strong rela­tion­ship behind you. For me one of the major male chastity bene­fits I can have that cake and eat it, too."

I wonder if this isn't the thinking of more women, and perhaps why they don't broach the thought with their husband. If he has his head on straight and realizes he is her partner, and not her owner, and knows she is coming back with pleasures to share... then it can be another step higher in their combined passion & play.

"Know­ing a man as desir­able, mas­cu­line and power­ful as John wants me so much boosts my ego no-end. Know­ing he loves the thought of see­ing me fuck another man catches my breath in my throat, even though it’ll never hap­pen. Yes, he looks at other women and porn, but that’s all to my bene­fit in the long run: male chastity bene­fits us by keep­ing that desire for me hot and bub­bling all the time."

She and John have struck the balance that seems to keep them at the level that most of us only experienced early in a hot relationship. For that, I am jealous... (Ok, I'm working on it...)

You just have to read the entire post... and blog, for that matter. As she mentions... it is all consensual... even as it drives us guys crazy with desire & frustration... 'we're both loving it!'

Enjoying Sarah's Blog

So little time, so much to say... but I hope everyone is catching Sarah's Blog
and all her insight and real life experience that I think many readers actually seek.

And if you haven't subscribed to her Guide, I would recommend it. It is excellent reading for both husband & wife, especially if you follow her suggestions, such as the list. I suspect if we all actually did as mentioned, we really would have much to celebrate... and pleasure shared.

Wait... We're Missing the Point

Those of us reading Tom and Sarah's blogs are getting quite a lesson in logic and debate... but I would like everyone to revisit the question. Oh, what was that? That might be in who you ask; personally, I would like to go back to something on track with 'vanilla male chastity', or how to provide resources for wives and girlfriends to explore a journey into male chastity without being frightened away screaming....

Granted, my blog isn't exactly vanilla territory, but much of my previous experiences actually contributed to my blog, before I realized such activities and fantasies even existed. And I haven't had time to write more of what I haven't touched on yet. No, nothing drastic... just things like my old neighbors that invited me to her bed while hubby was out on business. As it turned out, hubby was 'too big' and I, being more 'average' was 'just perfect'. That went on until they decided to start a family, and I bowed out.

There's more, like when I would 'tie up' the jewels and cock, and leave the end of a rope 'available' to my lover. She would spot the rope peeking from my beltline, tug on it, knowing what was attached, and say 'ahhhh ... this must be mine' and lead me to an appropriate spot for further play.

So when I discovered such things as male chastity, I was delighted, aroused, curious... and shocked at where some guys went with their version of the chastity fantasy. Way beyond anything I ever imagined, or dream in my worst nightmare. As it went, I found some 'reasonable' and believable blogs (Thanks Tom!) and began to call my fantasy Male Chastity Play to just engage in activity that didn't involve humility, demeaning or outrageous BDSM, etc. Just activity between playful consenting lovers that I thought brought balance and and edge to our bedroom (and beyond) play.

So discovering intelligent women like Sarah that didn't run, and now embrace this play, and hence coin the 'vanilla male chastity' concept is ... thrilling!

Balance over submission

After re-reading a few blogs, and some of the reference material listed on the edge of my blog, I see a long list of 'why'... Why would I volunteer to wear a chastity device? Going through the lists, some of those thoughts are of interest, but reflecting on a comment that really hits the mark is 'this brings balance to our relationship that is missing from the typical union'. And of course, just the simple playful aspect is welcome.

I realize day-to-day life is just that, with all the usual bits & pieces, chores & bills, cooking & exercise... but tossing in that bit of spice now and then, with her realization that she has choices that are at a higher level than most women will never have, hopefully will bring a smile and naughty thought a bit more often...

The Cricket

As much as I want to write, time just has not been on my side; I'm behind even when I climb from bed each morning. But I usually try to sneak a moment and see what is happening out in blog land, and today it is about 'the cricket' (click on the title above). Some very interesting discussions by the author, and Tom has entered into the discussions occasionally too... Their dialogue stirs deeply.

While I only took time to quickly scan through (I'm coming back when I get a moment) I caught a line that parallels thoughts of my own...

"One of the things I love so much about J is how sexually voracious she is. She loves cock. I want her to have as much wild untamed sex as she needs. If the word I looking for is cuckold, then so be it. I love J with all my heart, and will gladly be her cuckold. I want her to have as many lovers as she’d like, and to be as happy as she can be." I'd like her to be as happy as she can be...

Where was I going in the picture with "Hubby will be so pleased..."? Perhaps the pillow talk may have played with the concept over and over and never realized. But she knows she has the freedom to take that moment of lust and finally, and fully enjoy it, with all my support. She also knows, that once she does, my only wish is that she later share that joyful moment with me, so that we have re-live that pleasure again...